I can't sleep...

I know EXACTLY what you mean.  I have been doing the same thing regarding my husband.  I am expressing my emotions as much as I can--crying, writing, reading things, praying.  It all helps.  I promised myself I would do something good for myself and someone else who needs it whenever I think about him.  I can't concentrate correctly on my work, either, which keeps me up even later.  We will be okay.  We really will.  Take deep breaths.  Love yourself.

Sorry to say that I don't have any advice, other than to say you're not alone.  My doctor prescribed a sleep aid for me, but I don't know that I want to go there.  Don't want to become dependent on something to sleep, that and worried about side effects.  I just keep the coffee cup filled!

I am so glad that it is not just me.  Not saying that I'm glad you are having a hard time sleeping.  I have been drinking myself to sleep or just not sleeping.  I found that the later just lets me think about it while I am awake.  I think about him andher all the time, I wonder if they are laughing at me, I wonder how my daughter will be when he gets her!  It tears my heart up!  I often find myslef cring in the middle of the day.  I guess the other posts are good sleep aids and taking to others will help.

well I must say you are going through what most fear the most the image of your spouse being with some one else been there and that is what keep me in a bad relarionship for longer than I should have been. Yep but you the part that your not seeing is the picture of the spouse doing the same bullchit as was done to you. This new person is just enjoying the honey moon of a new relationship is all as with yours. A tiger does not change it's stripes but you will not even give a rats azz when some one comes in your life and your happy and the spouse is getting what they deserve. The only differance is you know the other person and the lies and wrong doing the other can afflicton on the other person.When this all passes you will rest easier because the other person is not better than you just unknowing and and innccent  to the wrongs of your spouse. just rest with ease because you were smart enough to go on with your life.

Yo, one word, three syllables - Ambient. I described it as a freight train running thru my brain - couldn't sleep. When I did, I had terrible dreams waking up hyperventilating. Went to Doc who prescribed Ambient. Now, if needed, 1/2 pill induces good sleep with no dreams. I'm aware of a possible reliability on the drug, however I'm giving myself this gift to get through a painful time. Best of luck HurtInCo. I feel for you.

Jamesalone-

Have you ever been tested for sleep apnea? You have some classic symptoms.

all others, I like the idea of volunteering. Like a lot of people here I need something to fill tha void. Rsther than getting a dog or a cat I can see me engaging in volunteer activities. Something to fill my time.

However, my extra activities may be an extra job for a while so I can pay off the debt I'll be carring away from this relationship.

I've just resigned my self to not sleeping.  I fall asleep quickly but get woken up by dreams telling me to wake up.  One morning it was the alarm clock taunting me to wake up before it went off.  A psychiatrist/pshcholigist could get rich from me.  Benadryl works great plus it stops the snoring.  Get some new pillows, sheets and pajamas.  The feeling of new stuff to sleep on is great.  Plus we all drool when we sleep so the pillows will for a short time be awesome.  Best dreams tonight.

Thank you for allowing me to write such a long response. I needed this too and see we are not alone in the not sleeping phase.

The links were lost in the words. Here they are separated out. 

www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/tc/melatonin-overview
 
www.webmd.com/search/search_results/default.aspx?query=B%20complex%20vitamins&sourceType=undefined
 
I wish you the best and look forward to reading how you are doing. The person I had watch my little dog while I was gone actually became teary eyed when I picked her up. She is under 10 lbs., smaller than some cats, does not shed, has a happy demeanor and is a wonderful lap dog. Stroking and petting is great therapy and my little one loves that. 

My mom just called and I told her about the sleep issues. She spouted out the words, "Life is what you make it, if you want to be happy you're going to be happy. If you sit and brood over your troubles you won't be happy. Make a choice. She said sometimes you have to think 5 minutes at a time just to make the change. In the next 5 minutes do something that makes me feel good or makes someone else feel good and keep building that up." I am glad she called. This helps too.

Take care and blessings to you.

I am so sorry. I keep forgetting to pick up Melatonin. I become way too groggy with Tylenol PM/Benedryl and don't like the side effects and ingredients. Do what's best for you and a lot of that is going to be healing in the mind and heart. Here is some information about Melatonin. There is a lot more just look it up online. I like WebMD. http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/tc/melatonin-overview I have also been told the B Complex Vitamins are extremely helpful. A complete formula that has higher amounts of B12 and B6 would be great. Read through the Drug results for B Complex Vitamins (thre are tabs in this section). Scroll down and read Herbs Vitamins and Supplements used to enhance moods. (of course hop into more links) http://www.webmd.com/search/search_results/default.aspx?query=B%20complex%20vitamins&sourceType=undefined There are so many of us in the same boat right now. I finally fell asleep at 0630 this morning. I had 5 minutes here and there but basically stayed awake all night as well. I couldn't move and didn't have energy but couldn't sleep. Holy man, that was a long night. I probably need another nap but have so much to do. Our minds are spinning around in so many directions. Melatonin and B Complex vitamins are sold most anywhere. One of the links suggested Valerian for sleep and St. John's Wort for moods. God knows we are a filled full of moods right now - even if we don't want to admit it. WebMD recommends consulting a doctor. The psychotherapy classes are going to help occupy your mind. Don't get too carried away with psycho analyzing her and your situation but do use it to help heal. I am sad to hear people return their pets to the SPCA. One would think there would be a bond built and the pet would become a lifelong family member. Oh my word, after writing that it occurred to me that the people who return pets might very well be the ones who have difficulty wanting to stay in a committed marriage relationship.

I sometimes wake up with panic attacks.  I feel like the Girraffe in Madagascar.

Well guys, I do have a cat, had to give up my great dane in the divorce.  She said to take ALL the pets since she was allergic to them anyway and really didn't want them.  Didn't know you could be allergic to fish.

Took a couple of Tylenol PM at 2AM this morning and finally fell asleep.  Woke up at seven...if that tells you ANYTHING about how my brain was working overtime..and immediately began thinking about her and the OM.

Didn't want to confront her today, even though this is Child Support Check Day!  Hurrah!  So I went by her office early and slipped the check through the door.  Sorry guys, but I just can't look her in the face especially after knowing about the OM and how long she's been involved with him.  I'm taking more pride in myself, and facing her right now isn't going to help.

However, I've decided to get my Masters degree in psychotherapy at University of Colorado.  I've also signed up for a couple of volunteer programs as well as to be a Big Brother.  Since I have this extra time, I think it's important to give back to the community, and it's a great way to keep me occupied.  She always used to say that I wasn't a kind person in her eyes, and maybe this will help me get over that hurdle.

Still hurts though....trying to plow through it.

i found that pets really help distract you.  esp a dog - you have to look after it (feeding, walks, etc) it forces you up and out of the house...

Just a post to everybody, I do a lot of voluntary work at our local SPCA.  We see people all the time go "get a dog to fill the void" you know what?  When the heart has healed, you start dating again etc etc, guess where the dog ends up?  Yup with a local shelter....AT BEST!!!  Plz, take care of yourself before thinking of an animal and if you please ADOPT.

A pet certainly can be a great distraction and companion. I find that if I write in my journal, and have a glass of wine on these troubled sleep nights, I usually can fall asleep soon after. I thankfully don't have these nights often anymore and usually on a saturday night when I do. When I write I try to think of positive things, what I am thankful for, my kids, etc...

here's a tip for you guys - Tylenol PM's active sleep ingredient is diphenhydramine (sp?).....BENADRYL ! lol

Okay guys, I have had the same problem. Go get a radio that will play nature sounds. The surf, crickets, even frogs on a summer evening. They come with timers and I found that to be really helpful.

If I'm not sleeping I'm not working hard enough. I require a certain amount of hard physical labor to be able to sleep at night.

I'm lucky that a benedryl tablet will put me to sleep. I've heard tylenol p m works well too if you only have a mild case of not sleeping.

Just know that this will and should get better. the divorce process can be hard to work thru and you just have to do the work to get to a more normal life. If there is such a thing as normal when you are going thru a divorce.

The hardest part is rolling over and not feeling her next to you.  Yeah, that sucks.

I'm thinking of getting a dog.  I'm serious!  The kids would love it when they come to visit and I'd have someone else to take care of.  Maybe I'll even go get it this week so that I have it with me on the days that I'm alone.

I've had sleep issues for a long time since before my recent marital troubles. I've had a lot of depression caused by other issues that I blame for my poor sleep.

Shelgos describe the problem exactly. When you try to sleep your mind is free to worry about things and it is very hard to shut off. I can be really tired, hardly able to stay awake and as soon as I get into that lonly bedroom, wide awake.

I've been taking a sleep aide for some time. Most of the time it helps but not always.

Another thing I do is to add a distraction. I hesitate to mention this because it may be a really unhealthy habit. But I turn on the tv and set the sleep timer. I find that watching something allows my brain to slow down enough to fall assleep. The show has to be something fairly brainless as well. Watching informative or stimulatig tv wont work.

yes i hear yah i was up @ 4am couldnt get to sleep  after that i was so tired and i am still tired but this is part of the
process ...its another day people we should be just fine !!!

Well you're not alone.  Can't shut my freaking brain down and I want to go to sleep so bad that I could just scream!