I'm at a cross-road...

I met my husband almost 5 years ago and got immediately swept of my feet.  He had an amazing career and my career was quickly taking off.  Our relationship seemed like a dream... until after the vows.

I should have seen the red flags.  He didn't tell me he had a son until almost 2 months after we met.  He didn't tell me he was married once until after 6 months... and didn't tell me he was married a 2nd time until almost a year.   But I took his response of "I didn't want to scare you off." 

I guess I should say, there is a 12 year age gap.  I'm in my 20's and he's almost 40.

After we got married, he unloaded on me the truth about his past.  He told me why his career quickly took off... details I can't get into, but note I disagree with they are.  He told me before we got married (out of the church) that he would agree to have the marriage blessed by the catholic church... now he doesn't want anything to do with the church.  Before we got married, I thought all of his finances were on the positive, but since we have been married he has taken out credit cards in my name and I've had to cash in my 401k to keep the lights on. 

Due to his past, he doesn't trust anyone and doesn't respect most people.  He barely trusts me... to a point where he put a tail on me while I was on a business trip.  He's controlled when I see my friends to the point where I barely talk to any of my friends anymore.  He's told me that he only respects people who have been in the military or who have worked for this country. 

On top of all this, he was diagnosed bi-polar right as we were getting married.  I had met with his doctor, but fully didn't understand what all that meant.  I completely understand depression and how much of a toll it takes on a person, but the mood swings and the walking on egg shells I can't deal with anymore.  He cycles daily and monthly... I could chart his hourly, daily, weekly, monthly moods to a "T". 

I asked for a divorce in February and have already spoken with an attorney, but he asked me to give him another chance.  Keep in mind both of his previous marriages were ended on his terms.  We went to counseling (3 times), but he didn't like her because she was focusing on how his behavior was causing the problems in the marriage. 

This past weekend I hit another point where I'm asking myslef "how much longer can I take this?!"  We went to a bar and he started drinking on his meds (something his dr has said he can't do and something he has promised me he won't do).  He got in this man's face, who wasn't doing anything, about respect and how he needs to respect women, etc.  It was also my birthday and I was peeled away from my party with friends because he wnated to smoke a cigar, which required us going somewhere else.  I got upset at his behavior and left after I joking threatened to go home and leave him there... he told me to leave.  So I did.  The following day he decided to block me on Facebook.  It sounds stupid, but who blocks someone on Facebook?  Especially their wife?

I don't know what to do.  I'm at a cross roads.  ALL of my friends who know me well have told me I deserve better, but I'm afraid if I leave my husband would hurt himself.  My attorney asked me earlier this year, "If you knew what you know now, would you have still married him?" And my response then and now is, "no."  Any advice from others would be much appreciated.