Facing reality

Did you tell her over the weekend? Divorce is stressful for all parties involved. Do you believe the holidays would be a good time for this? If you did not go through with telling her during this past weekend... Wait until after the surgery that your husband is going to undergo. Your child will definitely be impacted by what is happening with your marriage but your timing in this matter is critical, too.

make sure you tell her together and stress over and over that this has nothing to do with her...that she did nothing to cause this and that she is loved by the both of you. explain in detail what will happen, when and how. where he will live, how often he will see her, how they will communicate (phone, etc), how often. if she will have her own room at his place, what will be in it (talk up how she can get new stuff for it). how she can always talk to him whenever she wants by calling his phone. give her details and be sure that if you do, you actually stick to what you say. i'm a big believer in telling kids what is going to happen and letting them see that what i say would happen, actually did. give her a sense of control here. maybe buy her a cell phone and pre pgram dads/moms/family/friends phone numbers in it. maybe print out a map that shows how close dad will be living. give her something that she can feel in control over.

you might try something like this: http://www.howdoitellthekids.com/ It's sort of laying it out like a story for the kids. It's supposed to emphasize that change isn't always bad, but just a natural part of life. It's a thought...