If I made the right choice, then why do I miss him?

(ok, sorry, here is more)  When I confronted him about the Match.com thing, he said he was just "playing" and that he would close the account.  About a week later when I went down to his place for our first weekend together where we talked and decided to stay together and go to counseling and try to make things work long distance until we could get a place in between where we both live so we could keep all the kids in their respective schools.  That very first weekend when he said he had canceled the dating stuff, he said I could use his laptop when he went to work, his email was logged in and low and behold, there was match.com email.....I confronted him again and he said he was just seeing what was out there but that he hadn't been serious about it.  Over the next few months, we went to counseling and saw each other every other weekend, and I thought things were going really well, we would try to talk for a few minutes on the phone every night, which helped me feel a little more secure (although it was still very hard for me to trust him now that he had planned leaving without me knowing and was signed up on dating sites).  But, I was insecure enough that I started just looking at the history on his computer to confirm that he was not looking for other women....unfortunately, the opposite was what i found and it was multiple weekends I would find he'd been looking at profiles of women on Match.com, I'd confront him and he'd shrug it off and say I was too insecure.....In the end, it was the fact that I felt as if I couldn't trust him, if he was happy, why did he have to look at Match.com?  Porn I could have understood (although he has never been a very sexual person) but Match?  So my reasons were broken trust, secondary reasons of his children and the fact that his sex drive was nowhere near what mine is and while sex was ok, it was not great.  (again apologies for the length of these messages).

(Sorry, ran out of room - sorry it's so long). Anyway, he tried out the driving with my 2 kids living with me at my mother's since I couldn't handle having my kids so far away from me and with no one I knew in the area to help if they needed something during the day. Once he tried it for awhile, he quit driving because he said he missed us all too much and just couldn't handle it on the road. Since my mother and he had never gotten along, I knew it was not going to be a good situation, but he came home and sat waiting for the right job to come along, finally getting his old job back (the one he left because he hated it and didn't make enough money - but he made even less driving a truck). Anyway, he wanted to try to go back to having his kids every other week since he worked in Jackson (where their mother lives and they go to school). We couldn't do it though because my mom couldn't stand his kids (and I couldn't blame her, they would trash her house and make her feel like the outsider), so we could only have his kids every other weekend. This is finally what he said caused him to leave last September, he said he had to be closer to them and be more of a father (well, the last part was true, when they were with us for some reason they still spent more time with me than they did with him because he was either so angry or down that he wasn't any "fun" for them). So, he left and when he did he said he didn't want a divorce, but I didn't know how we would work things, I knew he gets lonely easily, but I also knew that I promised my children I wouldn't move them AGAIN. I missed him so much then that I still wanted to try to make the marriage work, at first it sounded like a pretty good idea, that way my kids wouldn't get exposed to so much of the bad stuff that his kids were, but within the first couple of days he was gone he had listed himself on Match.com.

Well, it's so long and complicated I'm afraid people may give up before reading it.......there were things, of course, through the course of the marriage that were very difficult, his 3 children were VERY challenging (17-year old daughter, 15 year old son and 11 year old daughter - all with their own stories) and I have a very different parenting style than he or his ex-wife, but that on its own was a source of frustration on my part much of the time, but not the reason for the divorce at all. Some further background (I forget about this part sometimes) is that I left him once before in March of 2006 (I think, the timing may be a little off there), but came back within a couple of days. The reason I left then was that I overreacted to something his daughter accused my son of (at the time she was 15ish and he was 12 and she said that my son was trying to get her to have sex with him). I knew my son and it wasn't true at all, but I also knew that meant my son was being exposed to crap that his kids were allowed to see on tv at their mother's or else it never would have come up at all - she later admitted that he didn't really do it, but that they all joked about it, mostly her own brother). Anyway, that was the first big problem because the very next day when I realized we should talk and try to work through it with the kids, he didn't know if he wanted me to come back, the house was less stressed without us there and he'd have to think about what he wanted. So i was devastated and he acted like he didn't give a damn. I didn't sleep and couldn't work for a couple of days, we finally talked and he decided to let us come home......I was very much the one "begging" to let us come back. After that, it was probably about 6 or 7 months after that that he decided he didn't like his job and wanted to drive a semi truck. That's when he quit his job and went off to school for about 6 weeks (unpaid).

it's normal to miss your spouse,your marriage, your life.  that is totally normal.  even people in abusive situations find that they miss parts of their old life.

how did you come to make the divorce decision?  it would help if you could give us more background.