Alimony..what should I do?

I can't tell you what alimony would be - although you gave a lot of detail it still isn't enough for me to give you any idea. If you were awarded the 175,000 by the court, then that could be considered a lump payment and that will be all you get.

if the loss of the business, the issue with the 401K etc was all done while you were married prior to a divorce filing, it can't really be held against him - nor are you eligible for reimbursement of any money you willingly paid into anything while married - regardless of what the outcome was.

If he makes 4K a month he can afford to get a hotel to visit with the kids. Stop having him at your house.

ok, this is a confusing situation and i don't know the laws in your state, but first you need to get away from this man. he should not be staying in your house taking advantage of you. if he wants to see his children he should pick them up and take them to his house and feed them on his own.

second, he sounds like a not so great guy and the judge is right that you need to start taking your life into your own hands.  so many times in divorce the payouts are not fair. it happens and it's wrong. but you can either fight it forever, stay angry and incur more debt, or you can move on and find a way to start over without him.

the more you need from him, the harder it will be for you to ever regain your own self and your own life.

trust me, i get it.  my ex did very similar things and has never paid alimony or child support and i was left unemployed and broke with two kids.  the courts told me that i should/will find a job making what i made before...and trust me, in my state, and in my industry, that would have been impossible.  and it was.

none of this matters to the court.

you need to accept help from friends and family, work on repairing your credit, work on finding a better job and take back your life.