Tired of being the good guy..

Not sure why she feels you need to spend the night in order to be there. I would just say no, be there early, or come when it's convenient for you, but still spend the holiday with your child... I agree with the others about putting the child first, but you must also take your own feelings into consideration and stand your ground. You can be with your child without spending the night and going through an uncomfortable situation like that.

I was the ex-wife that wanted my ex-husband back post-divorce.  It sounds like she has an agenda - I did.  I concur with what everyone else has said, your son will be fine and you will have a fabulous holiday together.  Do what brings you peace during the holidays.

I asked my estranged husband to stay Christmas eve night with the kids and I, too. He's agreeable. However, we are definately not in your position as to why we are separated so I can see why this is a tough one for you. You should do what your gut is telling you to do. Best of luck!

i would not go just because she asked. you can still see your son but on your terms. you need to be happy, and take care of yourself.

I agree with delia M.  Protect your son, stay the high ground and believe me you will be rewared by your son later in life.  Kids know much more than you think.  Besides, it's the right thing to do.  I made a mistake or two out of anger and thankfully I didn't tell my kids about my spouse's behavior  as a reason for our problems.  Just don't spend the night to be a family,  Might as well get used to how it will be.  Go over on Christmas day because your son will cherish those memories.  I still remember many Christmas days with loved ones and relatives.  Don't deprive your son of that no matter how angry you are at your wife.

ok I had to stop reading other comments after your response to Trisha. You mentioned several times your son's ADD condition.

It's a condition, not a terminal disease. He's not going to die from it, he's not an invalid, he CAN be treated for it and succeed just fine in life.

Divorce is never easy on kids regardless of their mental conditions.

I sympathize with your anger, and agree with Chris. If you are uncomfortable being there overnight now, then say no. It's that simple.

I personally think right now you're in no condition to even try to have a family get together with them, even for the sake of your kid. Your hurt is too close to the surface. I highly recommend you see a counselor.

And please, don't rant at me about how your wife isn't thinking of 'your' son. Her problems are her problems, and two wrongs don't make a right. Just because she stopped thinking of your son (in your opinion) - doesn't mean you're allowed to follow suit.

Be angry, but don't let him suffer for it. Accept responsibility for w