Will I turn into a cheater?

I like you have only had few loves in my life.  I was seeing a girl in high school for 3 years before I found out she was sleeping around on me.  I was so crushed that I didn't see anyone else for a whole year until I was forced to go on a date with a shy girl that was seeing a friend of mine but was really interested in me.  I fell in love with her and asked her to marry me.  She said yes and the rest as we say on this site was torture.

She has bipolar disorder which caused such drastic mood swings that I didn't know what to do.  I tried everything to make her happy, but nothing was enough.  Eventually when I retired from the Army our debts were such that I could pay for them if we stayed together but she had had an affair 3 days after our 16 year anniversary when I was deployed overseas and she had told me that she wanted a divorce.  I was crushed.  I could have fooled around then and many times before as I would have to leave for schools that lasted months.  I remained faithful even though other women propositioned me many times.  I gave her 5 years after that to show that she was truly sorry and wanted forgiveness for her affair.  In the end I only got hurt worse. 

You are not alone.  If you are not a cheater, then you won't be a cheater.  I believe that.

There's the old saying - "Once a cheater always a cheater".  Seems to be true in a lot of cases.

That being said - If you're not a cheater by now, I'd think it's pretty likely you won't be, regardless of your past.

I've always been of the mindset that if you've ever really been hurt, the last thing you'd want to do is create that pain for someone else.  But hey, that's just me...

Is cheating on the one who initiated the cheating really cheating or just giving them a dose of their own medicine?  I know the answer.  I have heard of people having retalitory affairs and was wondering if anyone has experience on this.
I know two wrongs don't make a right.  I couldn't do it of course because of how much it hurts and just couldn't hurt someone that bad intentionally.  I am very curious though what goes through their mind... entitled, revenge for some hurt, a way to initiate a divorce, mid life crisis, just off the deep end,  I guess the possibilities are endless..... I just know it hurts like hell

I don't think anything can turn us into something, unless we want it, too.

Don't take this the wrong way, but someone else's transgressions have nothing to do with how we conduct ourselves, I don't think. My ex was like, "I don't think you were a very good partner because of x, y and z....therefore I deserve to have an affair."

Not.

Personally, that kind of thinking repulses me---it's so relativistic---and I try not to indulge myself in it.

I think you see how much his cheating has hurt you and I don't think you will do that to someone else, becuz you know the pain that is involved in all that.  I don't think a person turns into a cheater by having that done to them or by watching others that cheat, I don't think that will happen to you at all.  Yeah I agree with the one post that said you may become a serial dater, but is that so bad - no I don't think so.  I have been cheated on and I don't think I could ever cheat becuz of all the pain it has caused me and my entire family during this.  I think once you've been thru the pain yourself, you definitely don't want to inflict that pain on someone else.

knowing the pain that you have endured....I really don't think you'll be able to inflict that on anyone else.  You might become a serial dater (is that really a bad thing?), but I don't think you'll become a cheater!

I think it is incredible that you have recognized this as a possibility, that you could see yourself cheating as a survival mechanism against potential pain.   But I think the fact that you recognized it means it's not very likely--those who recognize bad survival mechanisms rarely employ them.  So two very strong points in your favor!

No- not me. Been cheated on but will never cheat.
I think you will be ok. It is definitely going to be hard for you to trust!