The Why Questions

I wish someone had the answer to that I ask everyday WHY WHY would he choose to leave his kids Why does he choose to act like a dumbass Why cant he be honest with me I guess Ill never have the answers at least not the truth My stbx left because he diddnt love me anymore Ok but the reality is that these 25 and 27 yr old GIRLS start telling him what he wants to hear about how greta he is So they win they can have him stop asking why and try to move on with your life If you keep asking y you will drive yourself crazy just accept it for the best and take it one day at a time im trying this now im hoping it gets easier good luck

I think everybody asks Why. I know I ask all the time. My stbx has no answer either. Im tired of telling people I dont know why he left That its his decision. Even if I had all the answers it wouldnt make it easier. My kids wouldnt understand why their dad left them and their mom. I dont think we will ever know We havr to accept what we were given and learn to move on I know its real hard to do trust me take one day at a time

I got the answer to why 5 years later and it sounded like skunky beer.  Really why isn't the problem.  It happened.  What next is the reality that you've got to deal with. 

Honestly I hope that you find some comfort somewhere, but chasing why won't really help.  Good luck and take care.

DJ

I've been through the why questions myself, seven years later I realized that It's not me, its him. If he doesn't call his children; it's on him, everyone feels the pain except for him he has gone on about his life and doesn't care, he cheated because he wanted to, it was not you. Make your mantra: It's not me, I'm a good person! Hopefully you can realize this before 7 years. Hope this helped

I'll echo BlueB here.  Not a day goes by when I don't think to myself, or even say aloud, "WHY ASK WHY.....TRY BUD DRY!"   i don't htink that beer even exists any more, but it was one the best commercials. I even used it as my status update here once.

WHY ASK WHY??????

There's an older beer commercial that says it best..."Why ask why?"  Knowing the answers to those questions might be informative, but really, even if you knew, your first instinct would be to reject the explanation/excuse because, in your mind, no explanation or excuse would ever be adequate to justify the behavior.  You would be quick to point out alternatives that they should have done instead of what they were doing...Monday morning quarterbacking, as it were.

The truth is, what's done is done.  Even if the person has regrets and wants to change the past, it can't be done.  The bell cannot be unrung.  The key is to realize that and move forward.  Dwelling on the "whys" and "what could've beens" will just keep you spinning your wheels.  This isn't to say that you shouldn't take time to grieve the loss of your marriage...you should.  But, like little DJ said, the sooner you realize that the answers are irrelevant, the sooner you can move forward with your life.  I hope that helps.  Good luck!!!

A couple of days ago, Chris asked a question very close to this and I wrote to him ~  I hope you gain the strength to let go of the "why" in the end of your marriage. The first few