She loves him......

I have a different thought.  Can you stay with a person who is in love with someone else?? Or has been lying without you even knowing??? How can you ever believe that person again??? Can you have sex with that person knowing they had sex with someone else????

Then there are your kids to think of.  hhhmmmm...does she want to make it work???  Have you thought about counseling???  I am not with a cheater..but I am with a liar(I suppose he could be a cheater to, I just never knew) To me the disqust of being lied to has only worsened for the past 4 years...just his voice makes my sick.....when I leave a voice mail on his cell phone..i have to move the phone away from my hear when he tells you to leave a message....

You will have to go with you gut feelings as time passes...for now...give the kids a great holiday!!

I'm sorry this is happening to you and trust me I know how you are feeling, I've been thru the same thing with my ex and I came to realize that you can't make someone stay with you if they don't love you anymore and don't want to be married to you anymore.  Actually after I found out about the cheating I didn't want to go near him again, and like you said in your blog--he disgusted me to!!  I understand how you are feeling and it can only work if you both want it to work, becuz it takes two to keep a marriage together not just one.  Maybe if she agreed to marriage counseling to try and make it work, but if she truly doesn't want it to work, then it won't work.  You need to take care of yourself right now and focus on you, and what makes you happy.  I know it's hard giving up on your marriage like this, but if she doesn't want to stay and put some effort into your marriage and relationship then there's no other option but divorce.  If she's the type of person that runs when the going gets tough and doesn't want to work on relationships, then she won't have very successful relationships in the future either!!  I'm sorry you are going thru this emotional rollar coaster right now in your life, and I wish you all the best.  Good luck to you on this.

Hope99 is right on in both posts to you...this one and the one earlier today.  Really meditate on the first one.

She may love the other man, but she can shut that off if she wants to.  If she doesn't want to, then there you go.

I'm sorry this is happening in your world.  I'm sure today the world feels a lot more threatening than it did a week ago.  It won't always feel that way, but it will for a while. Give yourself time.  You are in true human form right now, reacting to pain the way healthy humans do.

There is a chance, but only if you both want there to be.  I totally understand that she disgusts you. My husband did the same to me.  I know how miserable that feels.  I am sorry. There is no competition. She married you, remind her of all the things that are good with your life together.  There is nothing that can ever compare to that.