Our son will have to settle for second best - she said to me

Our son will have to settle for second best, is what she told me when she wanted to file for divorce.  I pleaded with her, please lets go to counseling, our son has ADD and this will make his condition much worse. 

The best thing is for us to work it out, as there is still love between us.  I don't drink, don't do drugs, work hard and bring home great money.  She works as well, but spends quite a bit.

Five months later, sitting in the psychiatrists office with our little 9 year old boy, he stated very plainly that the reason he was so depressed and stressed, the reason he was doing so poorly in school, was because of the divorce.  All I could do is look at my STBX and shake my head.

What she did was selfish.  She didn't get a divorce for him, she did it for herself.  Now my son has to live with the consequences of two parents who are constantly at each other, bickering over everything, battling attorneys, the whole ball of wax.

Now my son has to suffer, and all I wanted to do is go to therapy before ending our marriage of 10 years.  How can she ever look him in the face and say she tried everything? How is that remotely possible?  How can I ever forgive her for what she's done to our family?