So I filed and he doesn't agree...

I hired a paralegal to do my paperwork for me, got everything I needed for the initial paperwork filing. Filed it, had him served but we both didn't agree with the parenting plan that my paralegal drew up without my input. My stbx is moving 3000 miles away and every other week isn't going to go so well..... Well we tried to sit down and talk about what we wanted to see happen with visitation and he wants to have our son for four months every four months till he gets into school, then he wants to have our son do a school year in WA and then do one in PA.....

Am I the only person that has a problem with this? Is it crazy to want to do that to a child? How is that fair or giving the child stability? Am I just being selfish? He doesn't have to move to PA for a job, he is choosing to move there, so in my mind he is choosing to remove himself from his sons life. I think that a few weeks out of the year and one of the major holidays is good, He's 2 for god sakes, he doesn't need to be racking up frequent flyer miles yet and I can't afford to pay for a plane ticket every four months.. Does he expect me to fly an infant out to him every four months when our daughter is born? What do you all think?

by Alliekat82 11 Posts
Posted on 11/24/2008 4:08 PM

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Tags: visitation , custody

Answers for "So I filed and he doesn't agree..." (5) (You must be logged in to answer)

Someone posted on another question or blog, a link that an attorney had written for parents in a divorce, a custody agreement, a generic one. If I can find it I will post it. I do remember reading it and said something about regarding holidays, almost all of them should be given to the non custodial parent because the one who has custody, sees their kid all the time, so it would be fair. But honestly, have you asked for temporary support, child support and/or maintenance? I would, until your divorce is final.

by delia_M 2861 Posts
Posted on 11/25/2008 10:52 PM

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I want to hire a lawyer, I have talked to several. They all want a huge retainer that I can't afford. I am a stay at home mom and student, and he has been our sole support. When he decided that he wanted a divorce, he switched bank accounts and left me with nothing. I spent what little money I did have on the paralegal.
I am hoping that he will see that it isn't right to move him around so much.

What do you think is a reasonable time for him to visit his dad? They love each other but don't really know each other, he was deployed for 14 months of his life. And my stbx doesn't really get that involved in the daily needs of what kids need. So it scares me to think of what will happen for any length of time...

by Alliekat82 11 Posts
Posted on 11/25/2008 9:47 PM

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You might consider a divorce attorney if the paralegal isn't working out for you. I know in some states, if you two can't reach an agreement on visitation and custody issues, the court can make that determination on what's realistic and what isn't. From my personal view, it would be unrealistic to expect your child to acclimate himself to an entirely new school, new people, new state, new everything - every other year. How would he make any lasting friendships or make a stable mark in his 'new school'?

by delia_M 2861 Posts
Posted on 11/25/2008 4:11 PM

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I agree, it sounds totally unrealistic. I guess that's what makes this whole process so painful; so many of the unspoken agreements we made with our ex end up being broken in completely unexpected, and often unworkable ways.

I'm sorry you're going through this now and wish you the best.

by Natalie 729 Posts
Posted on 11/24/2008 6:28 PM

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I personally think that is unrealistic...

by militaryp 2952 Posts
Posted on 11/24/2008 6:17 PM

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