Oh Lord

I'm in the same boat as you, I'm the wife of a recovering alcoholic it's been 2 1/2 years of him not drinking, however in those 2 1/2 years things were still about him little has changed beside the no drinking, So I filed for divorce 2 weeks ago, within those past 2 weeks we argued, gave the silent treatment & finally talked.I told him its not about him anymore it's about me and our kids.He told me he doesn't want a divorce and I said I did all I can do. Now its up to him.I said if your that serious about saving your marriage you need it prove it to me.Within that 1st week he found himself a therapist & has his second appt. this week

I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt, but I also told him I wasn't stoping anything he needs to prove it to us.Your wife, like me has probably had enough and thats way she is so calm about it and has thought it through.

I hope for your sake your wife will say something to you as to where this is going and if you are dead set on fixing your marriage you need to prove it to her as my husband has to prove it to me.I wish both of us luck.

The % in my opinion is zero.  I have known others that took the filer back and all they did was crush everything they forgot the first time.  In my State I could have forced the stbxw into counseling but then I would have had to go through being served again.  I don't mean to be mean but if she went to all the effort to have you served you have to respect that and start doing whatever you can to take care of you and your interests.  Believe me I know it hurts but you never know what her next trick will be.  Be safe and be well.

yoda, im sorry you are feeling so sad. time will only tell about if she will come back to you. you need to take care of you right now, and just wait to see what she does next. take care and keep in touch

cherbear

I wish I had some advise to give you about her. I just really don't know enough to say anything about her. I did notice the last part about drinking. Good for you. Not just becuase you stopped, but becuase you stopped for yourself. I had issues with drinking years ago (8 years sober, going on 9) and came from a family who all drinked way to much. If you every need to talk, let me know. Drinking and being sober, I do know. Best regardings in dealing with her.

It may be too late for your marriage, but it's not too late for you! Do this for yourself, by you being sober and finding direction in your life, you'll find others will be more open to you, and though not likely, possible she too will gain respect and some way somehow find her way back to you! But do this for yourself, not for her, or your marriage, because those reasons can set you up for failure if you find it doesn't work out! Take care...

My husband is an alcoholic as well. Ever since I left he has quit drinking. Does that mean I will go back? NO! I have had enough of it. My best advice to you is to take care of yourself. Heal yourself and give her time to heal as well. If you push her to come back to you that will only make her hate you more. Let her know that you love her and you always will but you respect her wishes to move on with her life. After your healing process (and you will need it) you will have a better and healthier you and just maybe she will see that. Good luck and take care of yourself!