Does the trust in people come back?

How do you trust again? Not saying it's easy but that's why they call it trust.Trust is a risk. If it wasn't, it wouldn't have the value it does. It's like faith. It's not a sure thing, it's just what you believe in. If you're going to put so much value in trust, first, trust in the Lord. Through Him, all things are possible!

I've been lied to and cheated on for 25 years, now he says he wants to earn my trust back and it will never happen again, because by my leaving him he got his "wakeup call", now he realises that I'm the one for him, how do you trust again, I think I've been scarred for a long time to come, I don't think I will ever trust him again, but will I ever trust anyone else, I really don't think so and if it will ever happen that someone else gets my heart, I will shortchange them because of what he has done to me, so I really have a lot of work to do on myself and I am in therapy to help me.

I still can't get over the fact that people want to lie knowing that it will hurt the other. So I have the dreaded feeling I will alway's have a had time trusting. I want to trust. It's just hard to let go and say trust this person or that person. Let us know if you find out how.

Right now I can't trust people. I also trusted my wife without question. That trust was stepped on and crushed. I look at everyone with a leary eye. I feel for anyone in the future that may want to be close to me because I will not ever completely trust again. Right now my protective walls are too high to let anyone in.

I trusted my stbx so much that I didn't look for anything. He had never given me reason to before. You should be able to trust your spouse and your best friend. I would have trouble trusting the people that betrayed that trust but I don't think I will have trouble trusting others. I may be cautious about how soon I give that trust, but I don't see anything wrong with that. Remember that we did nothing wrong by trusting, it is a gift that we give people, it is not our fault that they proved untrustworthy. It was not our faulty judgement, you are supposed to be able to trust those people in your life. I think you will be able to trust again when you are ready. You got a double whammy, your stbx and your best friend. Not all spouses do that and not all friends do that. I think once you  are more ready, you will see that it was those two people and they just happened to be important people in your life, not all people are like that and you will find that out over time. Hang in there.

I put up with my  stbx's lies for 20 years. I got to where I could tell on some of them and at other time I couldn't tell a lie from the truth. I kept  "wanting"  the trust to be there. But knowing it wouldn't be there. To this day he still denies his affair. To me I released him a long time ago and the affair doesn't matter anymore. It just showed me I was right in not trusting him.

     Now to your question; I try to think and look at people that I come into contact with as a new beginning, a clean slate. After all,  they are not the one who did me wrong. Oh... I still catch myself on first thoughts sometimes but, I tell myself to be better and learn from my experiences with the stbx not make someone else pay for his mistakes. It's hard, but I'm trying to retrain my brain that I can trust again. Cautiously.

     It's just instinct...You have to tell yourself that it is not the person that did it. It's all new and you are starting over. Your head is telling you it's going to hurt or it's going to be a lie. I feel like we have to open up or we could miss out on the chance of a life time. I think it will be a daily battle for a while but I think I have a chance.