I am now divorced 4 months now, and I still love and miss
my abusive and cheating ex-husband. We have a
wonderful and loving 10 year old son together. This man
I was married to for over 12 years was emotionally and
mentally abusive to me from almost the start. It only got
worse as time went on. Why do I feel so pathetic, you ask?
Well its because I still can't move on, I am obsessive
sometimes over thinking about him. And I hate myself for it.
I hate that my son has lost his family unit, and has to be
bounced back and forth between his parents like a ping-
pongball. Its my fault, at least that what he continues to say.
I'm lonley, sad, depressed, angry, confused, the whole
ball of wax. I have been in this state of mind for over a
year now and I just want to be happy. I am sick of being
depressed. I want to move on, as he obviously has, but
I feel sucked down into a vortex of sadness most of the
time. He is still with the woman he cheated with, (she's as
pathetic as him)
get satisfaction and I know it. I am scared, my house is
falling apart, my money situation is alarming and I have
never felt so alone.
I love your response, jhs. A therapist told me once that I was in love with the "idea" of my ex...not the actual person. Took me a while to understand what she meant.
You nailed it. Take heed, betabear.
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