What about birthdays?

I know you are up set but let me say this....use this time to really think about what has happened in your life and how it can be fixed. Maybe with time your wife will start to see the change. I say send the flowers and let her know that you love her and you are willing to change. Don't send them if you are not willing to make the change. It's really your choice. You need to talk to her so you can know were you stand. This is just my opinion. But I wish the best to you.

Yoda, You are giving yourself an out. Are you in AA? You should strive to have no alcohol ever again. I don't think I have ever seen an alcoholic who can do controlled drinking and not fall off the wagon.

My ex has tried cutting back on his beer and is never successful. He quit for a year once and the minute he took that first beer it was 4 cases a week again. He hasn't tried to quit since.

Well. The divorce is not final. I have been served my papers about three weeks ago at work in front of everyone no less! When she has made up her mind about something she never looks back. She is also a social worker so I think she could see herself becoming an enabler to my alcoholism. Being that she deals with battered women on a daily basis she sees that most battered women return to they're abuser. I never abused her physically, but the emotional abuse of her having to watch me go down hill was enough and I just feel that since she is a social worker I'm doubly screwed because she would never return to the spouse that was causing the unintentional abuse. Do ya see why I'm so unhappy here. I never meant to hurt her this way. I just needed a wake up call and this was it. I haven't had a drink in 4 mnths, but no one has faith in an alcoholic until a year goes by so I'm drying up until Oct 31 of next year and than I will try controlled drinking like all the normal people out there. Anyway do ya need more?

I'm sorry you are hurting...are you divorced or just separated? The flowers seem like a good idea. But it needs to come from your heart, but I think a little more info would get you better results.