how to move on

How do you move on? I left my husband 5 weeks ago because of his cheating, but I still love him, he says he'll change, but I think it would never work out for us, too much has happened, the hurt is too much. Once the trust is gone, it's gone. Mine cheatid on me for 25 years, and now he's going to change, now that I left? I don't think so, once a cheater, always a cheater, I learned that the hard way. We just have to let them go.

Good advice, thank you.  We have given it some time.  We haven't talked for about 2 months, which really isn't that long and it's still fresh.  I know what you mean about change, and on her end I don't see that there is going to be any.  She still wants to put stipulations and conditions on us being together, and I just don't think that's how love works.  I'm going to give this a try, but I wonder how much we're just dragging this out.

I am in a similar situation, I am in your girlfriends shoes and my ex feels the way you do. Fortunately, I have changed in a lot of ways, and my ex will say now that I am perfect for him but theres to much negative history. It hurts to hear him say this, but he's right. When she starts healing she will realize that its not meant to be and see what you see. I see what my ex is saying and know it to be true. As much as I don't want to hear it, as much as I still love him, as much as I know we could be good together, I know it won't work. The best thing you can do is to continue to be clear in your intentions with her. Don't lead her on in anyway, and give each other space to figure things out. Goodluck!

Been there. Almost the same thing you are dealing with to the letter. After seeing how bad she is and knowing that everything was tried with out results, I let go. Fow a while, I still loved her but refused to go back to that life unless she changed. It didn't take long to see that she wasn't going to change, so I did. I let her and the love I felt for her go. She can want our lifes back but I won't do this no more regardless of how bad it hurts to let go. Letting go hurts, but less than staying does. Talk to her about things and tell her you need time to think about why you would want to return. Maybe that will get her thinking about what she needs to do and who knows.

haha, i like your analogy, but no she already knew there was alot of maintenece to be done.  Alot of things happened, but probably the main thing, we moved then got married, she didn't want to move, but she did because she didn't want to be without me.  She was miserable here, so she went back home.  Her family was pretty upset with me that she moved, and did all they could to break our marriage and succeeded.  But we still love each other, sucks!!!

What happened? Did she jump over the fence and find that the greener pasture had to be mowed once she got there?