My oldest and confused daughter!

My daughter who is 13 has decided once again that she wants to move in with her dad and the new wife when he moves to Dayton, OH next year. She has moved out once before and lived there for 2 weeks before she decided she wanted to come home and we made her stay with him for 3 months. She called everyday wanting to come home but we thought this would be a nice lesson for her to see that the grass wasn't always greener on the other side. He makes 4 times what I do and she make 3 times what I do so Christmas is always fun when they spend 2000 a piece on the kids and I can only spend 500. I honestly thought we were past all this crap but apparently I was wrong. My mom tells me to let her go and see what happens but my selfish side takes over and I want to force her stay, which I know will only cause her to resent me. I am frustrated because my ex destroyed our marriage and my overall trust in men period. Now I feel like he is taking my daughter away from me and its because I'm being a terrible mother or something. She hated living with him before so why would she want to be with him now? DO I let her go or do I force her to stay knowing she will hate me for it later?

by MNL 104 Posts
Posted on 11/20/2008 12:45 PM

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Tags: exs , sadness , fighting , custody

Answers for "My oldest and confused daughter!" (7) (You must be logged in to answer)

You can always have YOUR christmas etc early or late...

by mtnvly 3539 Posts
Posted on 11/20/2008 1:52 PM

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I would let her go. She will figure things out...and come back to you!
Have you tried talking to her though? Maybe as someone else said..she just wants the holidays and does not know how to express it? If you offer her that MAYBE she would be ok with that and not want to move totally. Give her bunches of time with them over the summer also...
Divorce can be so hard on the kids...

by mtnvly 3539 Posts
Posted on 11/20/2008 1:51 PM

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Yes because this happened last Christmas also. As a matter of fact she left me last year on Christmas Day and I thought she started a little early this year.

by MNL 104 Posts
Posted on 11/20/2008 12:56 PM

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is it at all possible that she just wants to go for christmas? since you describe it as such a lavish affair? she is a kid and all.....

by paula1 12662 Posts
Posted on 11/20/2008 12:54 PM

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He is a good father and regardless of what he and I went through I will not take his kids away. He reasons are that she wants to see places other that Kentucky and thinks it would be cool to meet new people in another state. She wanted to go before because she got mad at me for something and I can't remember what that was. She wanted to come home because she hates the new wife and her dad was a different person than what he used to be. She hated his rules and decided that living with me was so much better than living with him. Nothing has changed this was out of the blue yesterday.

by MNL 104 Posts
Posted on 11/20/2008 12:52 PM

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i would let her go. she may end up resenting you later in life.

by pnus 12 Posts
Posted on 11/20/2008 12:52 PM

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did you talk to her before about why she wanted to go and why she wanted to come home? what were the answers.

fortunately (unfortunately) kids want to believe that the parents are good. (and hopefully they are).

they want/need to believe it. and will try to find a way to believe it over and over again.

by paula1 12662 Posts
Posted on 11/20/2008 12:49 PM

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