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I'm in the same boat. Tried like hell to put our marriage back together, and now I'm sitting here alone (she went out)My STBX even asked me not to "go after" the OM. I am trying to keep things business like also, but the need to get angry, cry, and be in shock makes me excuse myself now a few times a day.Just don't talk about your feelings for her, and expect the same from her around the kids. Tell them the truth as to what's going on, but do it in stages (if you havn't already done this)
She started the process today after a long conversation. So I have a long road ahead of me.
Be the best DAD you can and worry about their welfare, someone has to and it should be you.Kids are resiliant, the situation will hurt them and confuse them for a while, but they will bounce back. Again, tell them the truth if they ask. Good luck!