? about college and kids???

ell, you can assume she uses the money on herself - you can't "prove" it though...the fact is with his money helping with her bills, it means she has money left over to be able to get her nails done etc...and I know some people that can't afford that crap but do it anyway just to put on apperances - they live above thier means, even with child support coming in.

On the every three years, she has the right to do that - he gets increases, the child support goes up - you will, once you leave, have to do that too, as it is for the kids.

Honestly momof 4, I'd be careful of how much you let her actions get to you - you are more talking out of your husbands anger not your own - you are going to be in the same situation she is pretty soon, and it is going to be harder than you think - and if it takes you spending some money on you, like getting your hair done or your nails, to keep your spirits up being a single mom...you are going to find yourself doing it...and not feeling one single pang of guilt.

Sorry if I came across "angry"...just very frustrated.  I've been thru alot w/ this person and to see her "use" her kids like she does is very frustrating.  Especially when she only has 2...they are teen-agers and I have 4 under the age of 9, w/ daycare, needs etc.  I could go on....but it would be senseless....thanks again for your advice....

All right...thanks.  I don't really care where she goes to school as well...and I totally believe kids need higher education.  But as far as the ex...when they divorced, she only recieved $400 a month and was living on welfare.  She now after almost 14 years has not tried to improve her life at all...she takes my husband back for increases every 3 years.  When they divorced, he made $13.00 an hour...he now makes $120,000 a year.  My point is simply that she is not looking at my stepdaughter's best interest....only to keep her "bank" rolling.  We've paid for activities, medical/dental bills (along w/ orthodontic), trips (for educational purposes) clothing, I could go on...WITHOUT her contribution.  Yet amazingly, she drives a newer car than both of us, has nicer clothes, goes tanning, gets her nails, done....blah blah blah.  My point?  She doesn't use the child support as the law intends (for the kids) she blows it onherself.

I'm not going to make judgements on reasons for children graduating early or going to community college for a while intead of a four year college - for some it is just a matter of when the whole thing comes close, the idea of going away to school is overwhelming and they choose to ease into the whole higher education experience. She may have a good GPA but not enough of other things to get into the 4 year program she originally wanted, so she is going to community college to be able to transfer...there are many reasons for a choice like this other than to get money out of the father. Bottom line, it's the child's choice.

He is obligated to pay 1/2 of any college (be it community or 4 year) "unpaid money" until the child graduates from college. Living with mom or not.

 

Look, I get that you are looking at your own interest here, but the fact of the matter is that he has kids before yours, and he has obligations to them...and will, either court ordered or not, forever. In that his older child(ren) are going on to higher education, your support, will be less for quite some time to come.

When that support order was set up, it was probably when it was expected for the father to support the custodial mother in a way that she is well taken care of until the child(ren) are completely done with their education. Things have changed, now using child support as pretty much your income, doesn't happen as much anymore.

 

 

May I also add...this child has a 3.8 GPA....as for the "unpaid" money...what I'm speaking of is the money that is leftover of whatever loans/grants don't cover.  Currently she recieves 1800 amonth in child support.  She was wanting to go to a 4 year college until this past semester....yet this  is also the time her mom bought her first house...so I'm curious how this all is involved in terms of the child support. I know the mother and although I have no ill will toward her...she is definately one to "live off" his income.....

So if I'm understanding correct...you are saying that as long as a child is under the roof of a custodial parent ( in the state of IL)...the parent is obligated to continue child support beyond age 18?  The mother is wanting this child to graduate from high school early....my thinking is that she wants the child support to continue.  She is aware of my situation....and she is VERY knowledgeable when it comes to the fact that her kids come before mine...simply because they were married first, kids came first etc.  Does he have to turn over his wages for this child to go to school if mom claims the child on her taxes???