I Was the Cheater

I am at the beginning of my divorce and shamefully admit that I was the cheater. While there is plenty of advice out there for people who are being cheated on, I would like to read about those who were the cheater and why they feel they did what they did.

In my case, I have been married for 18 years to a man that was/is emotionally abusive for probably 14 of those years. I had never cheated on him before, and actually had never cheated on anyone my entire life, including high school and college boyfriends. This is something no one, especially my husband, would have ever suspected from me.

So, I would like to be in touch with those who who are in, or have been in a similar situation. Can onyone help me? Thank you.