Allright Ladies I need opinions

Thanks for the advice jhsn and bleeding, I am going to have a good weekend, while she's doing what makes her happy, Oh I know what you mean, I changed them yesterday, and WOW! It was allmost instantly. Blah!Blah! Blah!

If you can stay focused on who she is today, and not on who you wanted her to be or who she was when you married, losing the "sting" ought to be fairly easy. Yes, you still feel love for "her", but is it really the "her" she is today? I doubt it.

When that "I miss her and want her back" feeling hits, and it will, fight it off by remembering things she's done recently, like the e-mail, trading sex for car repairs, and I'm sure there are lots more you haven't told us about. I found it hard to feel "love" for my STBX when I focused on today. Maybe this little "trick" will help you to let go as well.

I agree it sounds like she's been playing you like a fiddle. It's a game and she's been making the rules. Prepare yourself for some nastiness when she finally realizes you're not playing by her rules anymore. My STBX said, adamantly, for six months or so she wanted a divorce. I finally gave up trying to save the marriage, and agreed to give her what she said she wanted. All of a sudden I became the worlds greatest asshole, and she turned into the most angry, resentful, accusing, verbally abusive person you could not want to meet.

You have it right...the kids need to come before her, way before. And, hey, if you burn the cookies a little bit, so long as they were made with love, the kids will still eat 'em!

Keep strong, and change those "rules of the game"!

It sounds like you have a good plan....The kids are what is important. Keep them happy and enjoy the happiness they give you. They can bring lights of glory to your life.       Hint..... Don't burn the cookies.

Well, I thinlk after the sting has gone, I' will move on. Accept her as the lying manipulater she is, and just be me for a while. The kids are what's important, and it's my weekend so, I'm just looking to have a nice little weekend, full of toys, cartoons, coloring, etc. Maybe I'll bake a few cookies with them. I am just planning, so it takes my mind off all of the bad. A trip to the park would be nice as well.

I'm thinking what you are thinking and I hate that this is happening to you. Have you come up with a plan as to what you want to do about the situation?

OH! I forgot to say this was to another man

Well now, I have to say it. I had her email password and I used it last night These are her exact words. A Kissy emoticon  "It sure was nice seeing you today and thank you for the internet. Call me sometime let's talk, better yet let me come see ya, anyway contact me , anyway contact me how bout it" What does that say to you?

Yeah I have to agree with mtnvly here--don't let her manipulate you here.  She's playing with you and knows how much you care and love her, and now she's emotional due to this loss in her family and might try to get all wishy washy on you and play with your emotions and sympathy here.  Make sure to step back and look at it from that point of view.  Sounds like she's confused right now on what she wants and now that you've given her some space, maybe she doesn't quite want that space--who knows?!

Thank you demmi, now maybe I'll have the ammo to go through this funeral. Maybe I can go back to unavailable. I just don't know anymore. and I think it shallow, to give a man Mercy Pu**y to pay for your car. Well I guess I answered my own question.

It's not weird, it's love. It's just hard to let go of the one you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with. The one person that you counted on to be there through thick and then. Now you have to start over and find a different footing. Afraid you'll make more mistakes. I hope you find that footing.

Well, I'll tell you. Right now, I can't deny her. It's just not in me. I still love her, desire her, and want to fix this. Weird huh? I read all these posts, about men that treated their wives so bad. I didn't, and she even told me that most of the reasons, she gave for leaving, were not true. Just how do you find yourself in this situation, when you were a true person, to yourself, and your wife?

She obviously doesn't know what she wants while you know that you want her. She knows you still want her because you have chased her before and have probably told her this. It isn't fair to you for her to keep playing with your emotions. I 100% agree with mtnvly.

Amen mtnlvly! The exact answer I wanted. From a womans perspective. Thank you. She did ask for me to fix her car also, but I left that out intentionally. Our sex has always been intense, but I left that out also. She told me that she knew I wanted it but,  that's why she would not. She's playing me like a fiddle.

i agree with mtnvly,
she is right, i think your wife knows you still love her and she
is playing with your feelings. she will hurt you again if you are not careful. think of yourself too. take time to think about what she is telling you ok
good luck

Oh by the way notice the title Alltight ladies?    Does this mean anything different?LOL I got a laugh out of it thought you might too if you noticed it.

I would say that she is use to you. It would be easy to have a sexual relationship with you while she looks around for others. I know that is probably had to take but it is just my opinion. Plus when you loose some one close to you, you want a familiar connection and that might be it to. I also agree you should stay clear or you could get hurt more. In a way she is using you.

I'm not a lady, so I'll just tack a guy's "amen" onto mtnvly's post--she's right on.

I would say that now that you are not begging etc for her to  get back together she is trying to manipulate you.
I would stay clear for a bit. She can't say one minute that she doesn't love you and the next that you are the man she wants to be with.
She is confused and it sounds like she really doesn't know what she wants. I would say that now that you have become unavailable to her she thinks she wants you back.
Give it a breather for a while. Take time to think and then go talk to her. She can't have her cake and eat it too. If she wants to reconcile that is one thing but she needs to decide ans stop playing with your emoitions!