concerned 4 a friend

She does need to move on and think of herself. She will not be able to move on until she believes in herself and quits blaming her husband for everthing. The children need to see a happy and confident mommy not a angry and depressed one. Can you work that angle? i am sure you have tried everything and are genuinely a good friend. hang in there with her. keep us posted.

Being a divorced divorce attorney, I have seen lots of cases like these and very rarely to they resolve favorably. In most states, there is a cause of divorce called abandonment, which seems likely in this case. I would not be surprised if he filed for divorce in the near future. I have read the comments about some people healing than other people, but i can tell you from experience that the healing process is much more rapid when some decisive decision are made. I think, as hard as it is, that she needs to see a good divorce attorney and do what is likely coming in the future anyway.

Robert is great. I would consider encouraging her to try another therapist? diff people respond to diff personalities... sounds like she needs someone - and, echoing robert, she is very lucky to have you!!!!!

Somebody else may have something to offer, there are some really good people here...but it's my experience that the person has to want to progress. There's no quick fix, or any way to slap sense into her. You just have to be a friend, and help her as she progresses, and if you're right, and it hits her like a brick, be there to help pick her up. That's what we do. I'm glad your divorce is progressing better. Although I'm sorry about the divorce though.It's kid of one of those clubs you don't want anybody to join. I guess that makes me part of the welcoming committee...

She has already seen a therapist, but that did not seem to help. Her husband has also found someone else, and she knows this. I thought that this would help her move on, but so far to no avail. One thing that I am concerned about is the fact that she sees everything to be her husband's fault. She doesn't see that she had any part in the dissolving of her marriage. (and if she does, it is such a small part that she doesn't see how he would ever leave her because of it. She is the dumpee, and I know that is always harder for the dumpee, but I am concerned about her because I really don't think that it's going to truly hit her until the divorce is final (when she has to move, her money situation changes, she has to sell her house, and she also realizes that her husband is really gone). This is going to hit her all at once, and I seriously think that she is going to become a basket case. I am also going through a divorce, but both my soon to be X and I have progressed much farther than she has. I am really concened that she is going to go off the deep end before it's all over. Any suggestions to help her progress faster so that she can be hit with this gradually versus all at once?

People grieve differently. Some people are in and out, other's take forever. It's hard to say from here, but one thing is sure: It's good that she has a friend that's willing to look out for her. Make sure she knows you're there, and be the shoulder for her. Some people aren't so lucky. You may suggest she see a therapist, just because it will help her move on, but she has to want to. All you can do is be a friend. It sounds like you're doing a good job.