wife is cheating

Critter~ Make sure you are writing all of this down...that she doesn't spend time with the kids etc. Document it all . It will come in handy later. Keep us posted on how it is going. I am sorry that you are going thru this!

I'm so sad to hear that your wife hasn't connected with her children.  Regardless of how you feel about her, your children need her in their lives.  Maybe she needs counseling.  Be sure you get everything documented and you get a lawyer asap.  The person you married, once you get ready to divorce, becomes a totally different person.  I would be on guard at all times.

I would definitely get yourself a good lawyer and protect your rights and your kids rights as well.  I hate to hear that a mother doesn't want her children, that's so sad to hear, because I wouldn't know what to do without my kids here with me--I would go stark raving crazy that's for sure!!  I can't believe a mom would say that about her own kids that shse carried for 9 months and gave birth to that just makes me sick-- I'm sorry!!  I don't call her a mother--and I won't say on here what I call her but it's not good trust me!!  My ex did the exact same thing--we had visitation set up and it went okay for awhile--oh yeah he was cheating on me to with some tramp at work and now living with her--but now he doesn't even see his kids at all.  I don't consider him to be a father--yeah he pays child supoprt and all but that's all he does now--I consider him to be just a plain and simple sperm donor and that's it.  It's really sad that parents have to act like this and when the kids get older I guarantee they will try to come back into their lives--and guess what--the kids won't want anything to do with them--because they already abandoned them a long time ago!!  Makes me sick--sorry but it does!!  I would file for full custody, child support, spousal support, if she has a pension or 401k I would file for 1/2 of that value to go to you, I would hit her where it hurts, trust me, that's what I did to my ex.  I took 1/2 of his 401k and pension because I found out that I'm entitled to it, so I took it!!  I'm sorry you and your children are going thru this and I wish you all the best.

here also is a link to a comprhensive parenting plan I wrote - bring it to your attorney and make whatever chnages to it necessary to meet your situation:

http://docs.google.com/View?docid=dc876ktm_9d4mq6f2s

Unfortunately, CA is a no fault state and her adultery won't come into play with your divorce.

You need to meet with an attorney asap and file for full custody of the children, exclusive right to the home as well as child & spousal support.

On the home, do you rent or own? If you own, then if you want to stay there you are going to have to find a way to get the mortgage solely in your own name and be able to pay for it, otherwise you will be forced to sell.

that's a little hard to hear.

i would seek out a lawyer and get this going.  you're not the first person who was told the checks would keep on getting deposited and then suddenly they stop.

make all of this legal...the asset division and the children.

focus on the kids right now.  they need it.

Yes she has said she is moving in with her mom and that she will still put her check in the bank and she has never really been a mom she doesnt really like the kids and Has said multiple times that she had them for me she only does stuff with them when it is convienent for her. and she travels all over Nrthern Ca 5 to 6 days a week going from store to store.