sign in | join
Ok, I am new here but I think I should start with my story. My wife and I have been married for almost 8 years now and we have a 5 & a 1/2 year old and one on the way(more about that later). About 5 years ago I think I realized that I was not really in love with my wife but I stayed anyway and tried to make a good home. We had fights but I learned to keep quiet and do what she wanted which included me not going out with friends ever or doing anything that would take time away from home. Our sex life was not very good either. We would go weeks or sometimes months without being intimate and at first if was her not wanting it but eventually I didn't want it either. Over that 5 years I went back to school and met alot of new people. I have to say I could have cheated on my wife more that once but I didn't, at least not physically. The years went on and about a year and a half ago I started a new great job. Things at home were how they always were, She thought things were good and I made it seem that way because I am not one who likes to hurt feelings. Well I met someone at this new job that became a good friend at first. We had alot in common and we could talk about anything. Well things eventually got serious and we became intimate. At this point my wife and I were in counseling(not that she knew about the other person) because I finally said how I felt. Nothing seemed to help and I went to stay with my family for about a month. In that time I say the other woman and I know it is cliche but we fell in love. But my wife did what she is good at and guilted me with my daughter into coming back. Needless to say the other girl(who is also married) went back to being just a friend, which I think was a good thing because it let me realize that my marriage was bad not cause I wanted to be with her but cause it is really bad.
Well sex again was a rare thing but obviously it occured because my wife is now 6 months pregnant. I should have been happy but the first thing I thought was damn I am stuck. Don't get me wrong I feel blessed but not excited. The other girl said she had held out hope for us but not anymore. I don't feel like I love my wife, I don't like being intimate with her and I don't like being close to her but I feel now like I have to stay because of the baby. What do I do? I don't like the concept of not being able to see my daughter everyday but I know I can love someone more than I ever thought. I don't know what to do and I am anxious all the time about going home from work of being home with her on the weekends. The other thing is I like her family and her brothers and I are best friends. I just want to want to be with someone. Is that wrong? What sould I do?
Some of you have the wrong impression I think. One I have only one child and one on the way. Also I am not seeing the other woman and have not been in almost a year now. I know cheating is wrong and I should have left before that happened but I didn't cause I guess I was afraid of leaving. I don't condon what I did I was just being honest cause I want honest feedback.
Hi there irish.. First let me say that I am glad that you stopped the affair. That was a good chioce. I understand why..but agree with the other posts that you should have talked to your wife.
I would say that it is time to be honest with her. It will not hurt the baby. Since the affair is over I would not bring that up at this point but I would tell her that you are unhappy and want to go to counseling to try to work on your marriage.
If she says no then I guess that is where you are and that it is time to move on. You owe it to her though , to be honest with your feelings..and to try to work on things before calling it quits.
Kudos to you for stopping the affair. But you need to communicate with your wife your true feelings...
At first, I could relate to your post. But cheating was not the answer. (Meanwhile, the hypocrisy of your married girlfriend saying she had hope, but no more? Whatever).I have to agree with Paula on this one. The one part of your post that you did not mention was your wife's opinion of your marriage. You mentioned the fights, but obviously she's under some misunderstanding if baby-making was acceptable to her.
I hate to say this, but you've held back too long and it appears that you've mislead your wife. As I always fear with my posts, there may be some misunderstanding on my part (the reader) as well.So here is my opinion, which may be wrong: I say keep the peace while she is pregnant. The last thing I would want to do is to endanger the life of my unborn child by causing extreme stress during pregnancy. Once the baby is born, perhaps try to work on the relationship, but if that is out of the question then you better get the divorce-ball rolling before your wife misunderstands y