Sexless Marriage...dont understand!!!???!! Please email if you can relate!!!

I am really, really looking for some women I can relate to....and would like to talk a bit. I'm not a strange person (well, no more strange than anyone else!) ...I'm perfectly normal, sane,(I think, but it's getting more debatable every day!) 36 year old woman who has been married for over 3 years ...and we haven't had sex now for coming up on ...oh...3 years. I'm completely devastated and totally at a loss. If you knew my husband, you would know that the two main things (gay/affair) are not in play here....I know some of you may think I am in denial and so forth...but I DO know my husband very well. I just think it is FAR less important to him than it is to me....and he is more like a woman than *I* am, I think! (in other words, if he's po'd over this or that, he doesn't feel "close" to me. OH GIVE ME A BREAK!) I mean, ok...I know men can feel that way, too....I do get that....and I'm very certain that I'm part of the problems in our marriage, too....I'm not one of those!...but I DO *honestly* (key word there...not just because I want to be right!) feel that he has the major problems....many of them emotional, IMO. I may be wrong as I'm no psychiatrist....but...anyway. He moved here from England to be with me (yes, 3 years plus of immigration ...lovely! ugh.) and we met online, though purely by accident. I had not visited any chatrooms (well hardly ever...when I was single I had a girlfriend who loved to go into them and when she would drop in to visit we would go in for fun occasionally...they never drew me, so I never did otherwise. Not judging anyone!else...just..not for me.) Anyway, we both belonged to an online amateur poetry site, and met one another in that way. We were only going to be friends...that was obvious. I mean, he was in England, and I was in America! Neither of us had ever been married before...both in our early/mid 30s at the time. (He is 38/I'm 36 now). Anyway, I could go on and on and on with this story, but what I'm asking for is for any interested women (I know men have this problem, too, but to respect what's left of my marriage and not leave any room for anything to happen in that way...and also to be able to relate better.....I would only like to speak to women. Hope you understand....) anyway...for any interested women to email me at michellemybelle727@gmail.com. I have another email, but this one I keep private. I don't talk to men on it, I don't do anything I would be embarrassed for my husband to SEE, per say....but I DO talk to my girlfriends about my/our problems on there from time to time...and I NEED to do that at this point or I will be certificable. I feel I'm almost there now. I cry every day ....and nearly EVERY time I'm alone....whether it be in the car or in bed alone or whatever. I'm a Walmart cashier and a very, VERY outgoing and very friendly person...so unless I told them myself, no one at work would have ANY idea that I was having problems in this way. Then, I get in the car for my 20 mile drive home and I cry most of the way back. I just HAVE to talk to someone about this and I can't really afford to go to counseling right now....though that may be a next step for me individually. Anyway, I think I may hear him getting up, so I'm going to go. PLEASE do email me if you find yourself in a sexless marriage and you NEVER expected that to happen. (OH. and I'm really not in denial about the affair and/or gay thing. He is very religious person ....which I know doesn't always mean much!...but...well, there are just too many things that I know he's not having an affair. He's really not like THAT and he is never gone for periods of time or on the phone or anything like that anyway....even if I did suspect him...which, for the umpteeth time, I do not at all! I did wonder about the gay thing at first, but it's just too far fetched for me. He has had long-term relationships with two other women in England before he moved here (and I know that doesn't always mean anything either, but it would be a bit odd he would move country when he didn't really even want to at first at ALL...and fought for me to go there!) if he was gay. You know??

so...again, I'm at michellemybelle727@gmail.com, and I wouldn't wish the pain of this on anyone (I mean you feel so alone and wonder what's wrong with you,etc....you don't feel sexy, etc etc..it has completely and UTTERLY *shattered* what self esteem I ever had.) but...if you DO share this same kind of pain with me, I would love to get to know you a little bit and have a talk. Maybe we can help one another through it at least a little bit...just through the simple act of being able to understand one another and empathise.

I came to this site tonight, in the middle of the night, because...even though we have said it in fights from time to time in the past year, for the very first time I am trulyu considering divorce...and it is totally breaking my heart.

Thanks for reading! Michelle