UNSURE OF POSITION

Yes!  Get out, get emotional counseling.  Fix your life one day at a time.  Above all do it to save your children's emotional future or they to may very well grow up to be abusive.
I'll pray.
One day at a time, Sister but make the move, now.

Get out now! If he doesn't get help you are only going to get hurt. Mentally, Verbally and soon Physically. It doesn't get better if he doesn't  recognize it. The so called kiss-ass is another control to have things his way, and we fall for it!

Get out-you know your heart.

Good Luck!

Safe Space was great for me. They really helped me and my child out. You are worth it !

Lady L; You are doing what is right, plus what you and your children need. Abuse is abuse. Verbal abuse is just as bad as physical abuse - I've been through both. No-one has the right to treat you this way.I'm happy to read that you are standing your ground and finding a place to move to. Please be careful, and make a plan. You will find how wonderful life is once you have moved out and moved on with your life. I wish you all the best! Never forget that you deserve only the best from life and from other people.

thanks to everyone for advice and concern. update-- i told "warden" a week ago i wanted to move out and had even looked at a few apartments. he has been begging and kissing asss every since. i know i still want-- NEED- to leave and i will. i am just scared of discussing this with him. i am scared of how he will react, what he will do, what he wont do and so on...... i have found an apartment. i met the man thru a friend at church and i laid it all on the line abut my positiona nd all and he has agreed to work with me rent wise and all. i need to start going over there and cleaning it up-- was agreed i will clean and all for the deposit-- but once again i am scared to tell my "warden". i dont know when or how to...... i am going to contact the hotline everyone told me about and just keep praying...... encouragemnt and prayers are definitely appreciated

I too am from an abusive marriage. I learned this from the marriage counselor. I have never been hit but my husband but he emotionally dismissed me for years, like 18 years. I didn't realize it at all then I got sick and had a life changing event. I realized that I was not happy with my marriage. Sure he was a great provider but its all the little things that added up to a big mess. We never had an us time, all we did was work. I too was scared to say anything to him but I finally did and the whole thing blew up. My privacy was invaded like there was no tomorrow. He ran my credit report to see if I was running up bills and in reality he was the one running up bills, he became the worlds best father all of a sudden and I was the unfit one becasue I worked and used daycare for my kids. My husband is in classical denial , he feels that if he didnot beat me then I should have been happy. Long storey short I wasjust the maid. He spoke with one of my friends and after he was done they told me that he didn;t act like he was loosing a wife but more like loosing a commodoty, a thing, just another body in the house. Its a mess but at this time I am very happy with my decision becasue in the end I have had to call the police twice becasue of his poor coping skils and his paranoia. It definately gets worse before it gets better but I am looking for a brighter future for my boys and I.

it sound like he has dragged your self estem in the ground, start by calling the hotline first then try to start a plan to leave, tell your family if they are supportive. But please get out! Think about the children, dont put them through this, it's not their fault, you are the only one that can control the environment that they are in. We hear about women being killed everyday but the husband and the children are left without a mother. think about it.

I totally agree with mikem. You need to contact this hotline to get options. They deal with this everyday and will walk you through leaving step by step. Good Luck and stay strong

It sounds like your friends are right...and you should probably listen to them. There is a national hotline out there you should call. The number is 1800/799.7233 (SAFE). They can help you answer these questions. Make sure you are being careful with your computer. People can see what sites you’ve been on by looking at your history. The website is www.ndvh.org. Maybe you can look at the site while you are over one of your friends house? But I would call that number and just listen to what they have to say/suggest.