Anyone not have sex on their wedding night?

Nope - weve never had chemistry even on a romantic week long expensive resort for our honeymoon.

This is a tough one.  Sorta yea I guess I did.  To me it felt more like rape and no I didn’t orgasm.  She had no interest and made every effort to get out of it, ultimately she agreed and laid there like a side of beef (how sexy huh?). 

On our honeymoon we did have sex but it was less than exciting.  I was rejected a lot by my new wife.  I guess the signs were there, now, sex, is likely to be the final (and only) nail in the coffin of our marriage.  Its kinda sad actually, we actually do love one another.  Some damage can’t be undone.  How does one get over being sexually rejected on their wedding night and on a honeymoon in Bora Bora?

There is a long history behind this and in the end, it is a HUGE problem in our relationship.  Here we are eight years later and it is still an issue in our marriage.  I notice that most of the people who say “no, its not important” are women.  My advice is this.  Even if he says it’s not important, IT IS!  NEVER ever ever underestimate how important this is to men.  For him to not have sex that night is emasculating.  Is this what you want to do your new husband?  I did more than my 50% of the planning for HER big day, and my big night was considered disposable.  (Its her day and HIS night) Yes, the attitude your wife has on the importance of pleasing sexually her new husband (and him pleasing her) on the night of their wedding is a very good indicator of the life to come.  We can deny this all we want in an effort to be female politically correct, but that does not change the reality of it.  Sex is the glue that emotionally holds a couple together and keeps a man involved.  What does it say if there is no emotional glue used on the biggest emotional day in a couples life?  It does not have to be great sex but it does need to be meaningful sex.

Wow,I wonder what this means?First wife and I did not make love until the fourth night of our honeymoon.Second marriage wife and I did not make love until third night of our honeymoon.Alcohol was not a factor either times because I wanted to be fully aware and extremely memorable.I guess it was for all the wrong reasons.

My current husband and I did not have sex on our wedding night...
well I am glad to see that I am not alone in this... that other people
did not either. We were way too drunk to do anything... and too
hung over the following day. We did on our honeymoon a week later.
I seriously thought my hubby and I were the only ones who
did not do any bedroom acrobatics on our wedding night...

If married person stuff (mine) reads badly or is hurtful, will you please tell me?  I didn't mean to contrast in such a way.  Having now read all posts...
I tried to say like Melaine and Spaz said, it's no sign of anything foolproof.  It's just one more day, along with the ones that follow. 
Alcohol, while I don't have a hatred of it, it was not around during my best times or on marriage day - can't dance (from experience) or make-love (from what I've read/heard).

I can't remember.  I know that may sound strange but we've been together 22 years and I don't know.  I think we did not as after the wedding reception, there was dancing in clubs near each other, we went with her mom, all walking distance, and back to mom's house for sleeping with the whole family.  Seems unlikely.  It was a great night, one of many we had during those days.  Another was after hiking 6am-9pm, down from a short mountain and on to dancing in clubs.  Greatest nights ever.  Energy never stopped, alcohol was little or never, usually never, just the OJ so the clubs got some money.  Really good days.  No marriage night sex - I think.  It may depend on how many people are in the room with you!  Ours was a cultural thing so elbowing relatives while sleeping on a heated floor in December was the scenario.

I did not have sex on my wedding night either. It wasn't for any reason in particular either. It was a nice romantic room in Tahoe, and we didn't even drink. I guess that should have been a clue for me too. My soon to be ex is impotent and never really cared about trying to please me either. At first I didn't think it was a big deal, I had a lot of sexually bad experiences during my life and didn't think I even liked sex. But the fact that he didn't even find me appealing or pay attention to me after a year I tried everything. It's finally getting better now that I moved out. I've lost 45 pounds and feel sexy again, just because of me. It's his loss, my kids and I are happy...broke but happy.

We did NOT have sex on our wedding night. He drank too much and I was annoyed at having to drive, handle the children and the family issues all by myself.

On another note, we DID have sex on our honeymoon- one night in NYC. Dinner, a show. He paid for dinner. I paid for everything else. But get this......I planned the whole wedding myself and my dad paid for it (he wasnt really "interested" in details),  hmoon, ordered strawberries and chocolates, champagne and arranged for the hotel to upgrade us to the "honeymoon" suite. 
Now, I realize, our marriage wasnt real. It was an arrangement as far as he was concerned. I handled and did everything and he tagged along for the fun stuff but was no where to be found when things were hard and when me and the kids need him -  which is a large reason the marriage failed. But, I digress.

We did not and sex on our weding night, sex had always been a problem in our relationship-he avoided it. Anbody can have sex, but it takes two, emotionally available, mature, confident, loving, trusting, open and willing adults to make love. I am really looking forward to that someday (the occasional sex for sex's sake isn't all bad, hahaha)

We didn't have sex on our wedding night, cause we spent the night at my best friends parents house, cause they were driving us to the airport in the early morning for VEGAS (honeymoon)!
So when we got to our hotel room we tried to have sex, but we stopped half way trough, and never finished. We tried 1 more time while down there, and it never happened.
We relaxed more then anything else, and that was the last time I was really happy with my husband.

I didn't have sex on my wedding night and was seriously disappointed. Maybe I should've heeded the warning because here I am one year later and we have had sex a total of 4 times.

We did not.  I was having my girl time, but I was also angry about him having a stripper visit him on his bachelor party when I had asked for him to not have one.  That was not the best way to start a marriage.  I was hoping to move on, and we did have fun on our trip.  It was weird to not want to be together.  I thought we were the only ones.

Nope. No sex on the wedding night. The lady in red was visiting me. And to top thhings off my mom fell sick on my wedding day. I am divorced now to say the least. Maybe all that was a sign?

My wife at that time went to sleep after we left the church. I stayed up and drank all night. Little did i know that night was the start of a long and blurry road for me. It wasn't long b4 I had a real problem. I was drinking every night after that. soon it got to the point that The only way i could talk to her was with a beer in my hand.

It was actually 2 or 3 day after our wedding day until we consumated our wedding. I recall that it really bothered me that it did not seem like a priority. After ten years of marriage it got to the point to where we only had sex in the effort to concieve a child and luckily we were unsuccessful at that. She ended up telling me that she didn't want children and knew that I did, so she would not fault me for leaving and seeking happiness.

Eventually, I knew that I wanted to be in a relationship that was well rounded and included sex and intimacy. Ironically, soon after we decided to divorce she began dating a man at her work who left his wife to be with her. They now  have a baby and live with his three other children from a previous relationship.

As for me I did find happiness with an amazing woman who is affectionate and has the same life goals that I have. We are engaged and are planning on having a family.

We did.  My husband was so romantic.  He laid roses all the way down the hall into the bathroom, where there was a bath full of roses for us.  He also had roses leading from the bathroom to the bed.  So sad to say that the rest of our marriage wasn't like that.  I wonder...

having sex on your wedding night or not is NOT an indicator of your marriage to come - I think when marriages fail, you go looking for any reason it could have crumbled - and reaching that far back, is well, just reaching.

I've been married over 20 years - we didn't have sex on our wedding night - we were both too exhausted from the whole affair. We kissed, said I love you Mr /Mrs Spaz....and laughed the next morning at our respective snoring and bathroom trips due to everything we drank that night.

You can't go into a marriage with set in stone expectations of what should and shouldn't happen - that is how marriages end up doomed from the start. Relationships are living creatures, and they grow, and change - and you have to adjust for it - when you don't, the marriage dies.

So it wasn't your wedding night that spoke volumes - it was every day after....

Second husband....No we did not. He got drunk did not past out. Danced with several women several times. Danced with me a couple of times. We went back to the room and he stayed up watching tv.

     Hurt and pissed off... I cried myself to sleep.

     Years later we reread the vows and he tried to make up for it... Didn't quit work out like it should have. Both times I should have realized it was just all wrong.

     No matter how much you try to love a person it doesn't work out if both parties are not willing to make the sacrifice to give it your all.

I don't think it matters either because we did on our wedding night although we were pretty tired.  But he used to say he only married me so he didn't have to go looking for it.  Then when  he started to travel right before we got married,  it was available to him more easily, therefore, I wasn't desirable anymore. Like childless, the attraction wasn't for long and then it was gone soon after the honeymoon and he wanted it only when he wanted it. If initiated it, he called me a whore. I couldn't win.

We didn't, and it was a huge disappointment.  Yes, we were tired, but I had made the elaborate "getaway" plans, and bought an expensive suite to impress her.  I initiated things and she pushed me away, saying it wasn't that big a deal, we'd already lived together.  But the ceremony of it was important to me, and not doing it, especially since I have such a strong sex drive, was a big deal to me.

Foolishly, I just let it go instead of telling her it was a big deal to me.  It was a harbinger of things to come -- I developed a history of not negotiating for what I wanted (shame on me).  15 years later I am on this site considering divorce and think back to how simple it would have been to just do it that night.  It's turned into a bigger deal than it needed to be.

I have to agree with annodomini, and in my humble opinion, having sex on your wedding night is overrated.  A bride and groom go through so many emotions on their wedding day and the days leading up to it that if you do have sex on your wedding night and it's not all the fireworks that you expect you feel like you have failed in some way or another.  I tell couples that if you don't have sex on your wedding night don't worry about it.  Do it when you are rested and not all tense or hung over or still drunk, or too tired.  I told my two daughters not to worry about it.  Do it when you have the time to go slow and enjoy it.   My ex and I did have sex on our wedding night and neither of us were drunk or too tired, but we were young and that was 35 yrs ago, and people didn't talk about sex then like they do now.  Didn't have any on-line blogs to read about other peoples experiences to know what to expect.  There I said my piece on it.  Wait until the next a.m. and go slow and enjoy!!!!   P.S. what a thing to be talking about on a divorce website.  Well we all have hopes of tying the knot again, only the next time with someone who will be true etc. 

Melaine

We had sex on our honeymoon.  We also already had a 5 month old child.  Our sex life was never very fulfilling for me.  But, for some reason, I loved him and overlooked that.  I really think it was a rebound relationship that went a little too far.  Now, it's costing me a lot of money to end.

We had sex on our honeymoon.  We also already had a 5 month old child.  Our sex life was never very fulfilling for me.  But, for some reason, I loved him and overlooked that.  I really think it was a rebound relationship that went a little too far.  Now, it's costing me a lot of money to end.

We did not only because we were up all night drinking.  Sex never a problem.  Made up for it the next day and until two years ago.  Four years ago when he was having an affair we still had sex.

We did...three times if I recall -- and about half a dozen times each day of our honeymoon. Sex was never the problem, but I think it's how we masked the problems.