Figures! Men have this tendancy to show off- your ex will probably never see her again after the divorce. Ofcourse- his new girlfriend might want to share in on the involvement and stay perminent-He might not feel that way though. Give her a chance- hey, if they break up and you see another woman with him again- she can be a second mouth to agree that he's a cheater... and your not just saying that because your his "EX-Wife". (ooo..la,la)

i am in the same boat my husband of 9 years was having an affair with my best friend when i found out i took the kids 12,8,and 5mo and left there is no way i will let my kids be around her.

Thank you for your advise. I am not ready to make friends with this other woman yet but I will stop stressing about what I have no control over. Hopefully this whole disater will work out. Happy Holidays

At least the children are young. The baby likely won't even remember much and the three year old's memory will be pretty unclear as well. If you are sure divorce is the only solution and likely it is, work toward settlement as quickly as possible. He may be waiting to divorce to make his new relationship permanent, The childrens' stability is most important. Alhough you can't make him be a good role model, you certainly can be. When it's your turn to date and remarry, remember how stressful this can be for the children and don't introduce someone until it's serious, and don't if you are so inclined, have a romantic partner sleep over when the children are home, wait until they aren't. I know you must be so angry you just want to scream, but put your children first, they are so young! You have the opportunity to be the "shining star" in their lives, and to show yourself, your family and your friends what a great mother and woman you truely are.

I agree eith MJ here. YOu don't have much choice sadly. The best thing you can do, in my opinion that is, is to buddy up with this women. Since she will proabably be around your children...you'll want to make sure she cares for them. It will be painful for you...but it's the right move as a mother.

Unfortunately, I'm not sure that you have the power to 'allow' anything here. It depends how close your relationship with your soon-to-be ex-husband is. If he was cheating on you for 7 months, then I'm sure the trust-factor with him is ZERO. But if you're not there when he's with the kids, then you can't really know what's happening. Your child will adjust to the situation. But if you feel the behavioral issues are getting to be too much, then perhaps you can take him to a child therapist to sort them out? Good luck to you!