My boyfriend of 5 years is married just not to me

Wow. Doesn't he have the best of both worlds? It sounds like he has 2 girlfriends here. You and "the wife." It must be nice to be able to leave you to go to her and then back again. I understand that you must feel horrible and that your self-esteem is probably shot. You can love your kids and NOT date your ex. It's okay to keep him in their lives...you just need motivation to leave him and you need to make the decision to get over him so you can have a HEALTHY relationship with someone else. When you have time, go to the library and check out books on the subjects of self-esteem and break ups. You seem to recognize that you're in a situation that isn't right. Now you just need to find the strength to let go. I wish you the best of luck! MJ

sounds like you may need to stop and assess this situation. you know if your gut what's right and wrong here. only you know what to do.