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  Posted to group - What do i do now    <<Previous    Next>>

First Question Of Most likely Many. Dealing with a Drunk Husband

Hi everyone!!

 

 You know I have always heard... God never closes the door with out opening a window.. I have come to realize they have failed to mention its the hallway we have to walk to find that window. My Hallway seems to stretched for miles. lol..

 

I am trying to get ready to do what I must but in the time between this and doing that..

 

What are my rights as far as keeping him away while he is under the influences of alcohol.. (DRUNK just seems not to fit what he is.. WASTED is more like it)

 

He has been drunk every night for the last week and a half. He didn't use to come home drunk. But now he does and shows up each night a little worse for ware..It is sad and very scary to me and my little one.

 

But now it is getting really bad again. He is very verbally abusive swears like no ones business. Calls me all kinds of names. He knows he is not welcomed in this house under the influence of alcohol. He is now exposing my little one to the "drunk."

 

 It is so sad. I asked him to please leave.He tells me YOU LEAVE this is MY HOUSE not yours..( we rent and yes it is both or names).He will do what HE wants.. I am not the boss of him.. He will not be told what to do.. I told him not to come home like that.He came home again drunk and said its his house and he will do as he wants..its HIS house..

 

 

 But he gets violent and very mentally abusive. He has done air punches at me along with actually trying to hit me. I am handicapped now and really not able to defend myself. If he comes home drunk again tonight..

 

Can I call the police and have him escorted out of the house.What can I do? I do not want my daughter to become scared of her father..Or scared if she sees the police handle him.. How can I handle this..

 

I contacted I think its called AAA or something and they told me to go to alinon.. I tried  to do an online thing..But, I do not want to deal with it.. I do not want to be sitting in this situation off and on again..

 

(I know I hear some people already.. Leave him if it is that bad.. I am not prepared to do so.. Not at all. I want to have things ready to go. And not put my daughter and myself out in the cold. I have two older boys well young men.. So I have them to think about too).

 

What would you do.. Lock him out of the house.. Let him knock like crazy.. He lost his house keys..and gate locks..Am I asking for a bigger problem.. What would you do.. HONESTLY...Not what you would want someone else to do.. How if you could imagine your self in this.. Would you deal with this situation..

 

Thank you in advance for your advise and words. I will take them in and let you know what I did..


by HeartWhispers   4 Posts 
Posted on 10/29/2008 2:53 PM
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Tags: drunk husband , so sad ,


Answers for "First Question Of Most likely Many. Dealing with a Drunk Husband"  (3) (You must be logged in to answer)




Call the police and have him escorted from the property. You can also get a restraining order if neede so he can not come near you or your child if you feel he is going to hurt you. Do not try to discuss or argue anything when he's been drinking it will only make him more hostile because you're trying to tell him what to do. Do get involved in Al-Anon it will be very helpful.
by ptrc   110 Posts
Posted on 11/3/2008 11:26 AM
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I would call the police, it probably seems like a difficult thing to do but it seems like you are scared and there's no need for this type of abuse. I agree about going to AA and they will probably tell you the steps you can take while living in this wasted drunken environment but in the meantime take a stand for you. If you at all nervous about calling in the calvary - maybe call the police information line and tell them whats been going on and ask their opinion. Call AA and ask them what you should do. Perhaps hearing what the authorities of Alcoholics say will help. Wish I knew more of what to say. Good luck and please stay safe. This does not sound like a safe home to be in.
I understand what you are saying about that hallway and you are taking the steps needed to get through it. You made a step by asking for help here. Maybe post this to legal answers and find out what your legal rights are.
by lgoodgal   872 Posts
Posted on 10/31/2008 12:27 AM
0





First off, it is (AA) Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon. AA sent you to Al-Anon to help you!

No one can make an alcoholic sober up. Only they can make the decision that they are an alcoholic.

Al-Anon will help you, learn, how not to enable him, while learning to detach with love. These are free meetings and have babysitting available. Here is there web page www.al-anon.org I suggest you go to meetings close to you, look on the web page call and ask for a phone hotline in your area call them and ask for some  lady’s to come take you to a meeting or do a 12 step call on you. Tell them what is going on you are not alone. You do not have to leave unless he gets violent and then you have choices.

Keep going until you find a meeting you like do not stop. Go to open meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous

In addition, learn about the disease it affects the whole family not just the person, he maybe at that point where he cannot stop no matter how hard he tries. Please for God sake; do not shut the door on Al-Anon or AA.

AA has been around for over 70 years and Al-Anon for over 50, the programs works, they are worldwide. People that don’t give it a chance, that say's, it’s not for them, it doesn’t work.
We have a part, and the parts we play are hard to hear so we want to shut the door, that doesn’t work!

Please don’t do that, give it a true shot, what do you have to lose, the pain, unhappiness.


Al-Anon can help if you give it a chance and are willing.
If anything, it will help you to be more emotionally stronger to leave when and if you have too.


Online meetings are okay, but you need meetings where you can get phone #’s. So in the middle of the night you can call someone for help when you hubby is in a drunken stooper

Bless you on your journey.

by Shami   65 Posts
Posted on 10/29/2008 4:09 PM
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