Do You Plan to Remarry and/or have More Children Some Day?

At the momement I don't want to remarry.  I spent 20 years with my STBXW, 13 of the married.  The thought of starting over is frightening to me right now, it has been so long I would not even know where to begin.  Anyhow, now I have time to rediscover myself rather just living out titles like, husband, father and in her words, idiot:)

I am done with having children, but I would like to be in a marriage that has true friendship and respect.  I would like to be with someone that is happy to see me when I walk through the door, smiles at me, and gives me a hug just because.  I am technically still married and I wish I could have the above with my husband.  We have been separated since April without him even wanting to try to be happy in our marriage.  If we do end up divorced (high chance) this is what I would want.

Natalie,
I'm so there with you.  I think that's the thing about remarrying that's my big question mark: making financials and legals one union.  I got married at 18, never thinking or understanding what community property was, never expecting to get a divorce; now that I know, I'm very conscious of having all my own stuff and I think every woman and man should have some level of independence.  At this point, I'm still trying to find where that happy balance is but there's a big part of me that believes keeping finances separate is a good idea.

I would like to be married again, but now is time for me to heal and take care of my 4 kids. It has been a long time 17 years since i have gone out with another woman so it feels kind of weird for me to think about dating. I liked being married even with all the hurt and stuff, but at the same time  i am afraid of the same thing happening to me again.

I would not rule out getting married again, but it would have to be a few years down the line.  As for children, I don't have any of my own.  I often pictured myself being involved with someone who already has children.  It's more than likely when you look at the dating pool of men in their thirties and forties.  Of course, that means dealing with their ex as well, so I would have to be very careful.  If I have learned anything that will be useful to me the next time around it is that I need to be with someone who has values that are similar to mine.  My husband and I see things quite differently, which does not make him a terrible person, just terrible for me.  A divorced friend of mine told me that he thinks he would have to be in a relationship with someone for 3 years before he considered marriage.  I see his point.  He also brought up pre-marital counseling, an idea that my husband would have laughed at.  I think that would be a good idea for me, to make sure that we see eye to eye.  Most of all, I have learned that every good relationship that I have ever witnessed has two things-mutual respect and affection.  Without that, I would prefer to be on my own.

I wouldn't mind getting married again.  I just really want to make damn sure before I do.  I pretty much married my stbx for the wrong reasons.  I was young and dumb and didn't have the heart to break it off.  I wouldn't mind more kids.  I just really want to be with that person who gets me and likes me for me.  Thats all I want.  Not to be with someone who wants me to be who they want.  Its not worth it.  I have 2 kids now that I would be completely happy with for the rest of my life, but I really would like one more.  Whether it happens or not, thats to be seen.

Originally, I was sure I wanted to remarry. Just today I was chatting with a friend--strictly a friend---whom I've known since elementary school. Anyhow, after meeting his future wife when we were sophomores in high school, they stayed together for years and years before marrying. That lasted 12 years; they split up about a year and a half ago.

The point is (I know there is one here somewhere, I'm sure of it) that he met someone, and they're already getting remarried(!)

He's glad she's everything his wife was not, and I'm happy for them both, honestly. I do worry that it's too soon, but the emotion I feel most is, "why would you go through that whole thing again, including the ceremony with all the trappings?"

It was odd because I'm pretty sure in this case I'm not jealous...it was primarily this feeling that maybe I would not ever want to join myself financially and legally with someone again in that manner. It's not how I want to feel, but I do. Confusing.

I hear you.  I've seen many marriages work and I've seen many marriages (including my own) not work and I think it requires two whole people in the right frame of mind, committed to making it work and having fun doing it and so many other things (I could write a book) but, at the end of the day, I know that I will have long term love and hopefully more children.  How exactly that's going to show up (whether married or not) I'm not quite sure yet.

Right now I have no plans to remarry.  That may change but being so close to the beginning I am against marriage at this point.  I am too old to start over and have kids.  Plus I made the decision 15 years ago to stop having kids after my STBX's second emergency C-section.  It was too hard on her obviously.  I really did want 4 or 5 but the two I have are great.

I would like to remarry but will take my time ...I learned that for some reason I am drawn to people who want to change me. I have only been with one man who didn't ..I have learned that it is ok to be alone...I don't have to be with someone to be whole.
As for the kids thing..heck no. I have been told by doctors that I have the "right stuff " for having babies..easy labors and delivery..BUT I am 44 years old. And although I am in fairly good shape..I have parented by myself thru both of my marriages and am so tired..of being responsible. If I get with someone who has kids ..then that is ok. But I will not be totally responsible .
One of my bf's was 8 years younger..he is now almost 36 and feels he is getting too old for that..yes I still talk to him as friends , we are in the same line of work..
Anyway..I am looking forward to grandkids..I am loving my new niece. But let me tell ya~ I don't like getting up at night anymore( I got a taste of that again when my sis had complications) and my youngest is 15..3 years to go until I am not responsible ANYMORE..The 3 teens I have at home now are more than enough for me.
Now if I were to have an opps...( my tubes have been tied 15 yrs) , believe me I would be ok with it but that would be after a good cry.