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I agree , thats something that I should have done with my ex. We have shared custody , fortunately he has turned his life around. He has been sober for at least seven years now. My children do have a father now. I didn't do anything about supervised because I was too scared , if I had I might have had my children full time and he only every other weekend. Don't back down.

Hello. This all sounds painfully familiar! Through the help of documenting incidents and gathering letters of testimony from daycare providers and friends and family, I was able to get supervised visitation written into the language of our parenting order. We had to go through many frustrating steps of mediation, but ultimately, it was worth every minute to keep my little ones safe. He now may not pick them up or drive them anywhere without written consent from me. Also, through recommendation of the arbitrator, this will not change unless he shows proof of attending AA and rehabilitation (which he has not). Even now that the divorce is final, I document all contact (or lack thereof in my case) in a journal just in case. It is cumbersome but necessary.

In addition to what everyone else said...go to an al-anon meeting or two...or more. When I was dealing with an alcoholic family member, it helped me understand the situation and took a lot of weight off my shoulders when I finally opened up to the group. It may help you personally. And if your children are old enough, maybe they can go too?

I don't know the laws in your state, but Nichola is right. YOu should push for supervised visitation. How old are you kids? Can you give them a cell phone to callyou if they see anything they feel uncomfortable about when they are with him? I know it's horrible to put this on them, but you need to do whatever you need to do for your kids to be safe.

if being with him makes the children in a hazardous situation, I would push for supervised visitation for him and the children. They still need to see their dad, but not put in harms way. Then in the future if he gets the help he needs and abides by an aaa program (or something along those lines).. visitation privileges can change.