Running Scared

Thank you all for your wonderful advice. I am going to try group dates or double dates until I feel more comfortable. I have been going to therapy even before my break-up in 2005. I've improved a lot. I'm just now starting to feel more like myself, than I have since 2005. This last weekend, I went to 3 Christmas parties and danced and talked to several men at each party. But, I felt comfortable also because there were always my friends at each of those parties. We were not all alone at any of them. We'll see how it goes. In the meantime, I carry pepper spray with me in my purse everyday and test it before I leave the house everyday. I'll be ready just in case.

Good idea Nichola. Can I give you 1 cent and pretend it was my idea first? ;) I would recomend what ever you do, keep the dates casual at first. group settings, inexpensive occasions, even going dutch, to keep anybody from feeling any kind of "obligation." The object is "Light and friendly."

I agree with everyone here so far, but wanted to add my two cents. :-) I can understand your feelings.. maybe if you start going on dates keep then as double or group dates. You will be able to start to see part of a potential boyfriend's personality. When you are ready.. then go on the "just you and him" dates. Above everything else.. go with that still small voice (or your gut feeling).. you will know what is right for you

I agree with Bea4. Not all guys are jerks. Of course I'm biased too...but you can ask MyUnwife I'm--ok, ask anybody BUT her. I'm a nice guy. but that's not really my point. My point is that there are other guys out there who are nicer than me. Keep positive, believe in yourself, and you'll attract them. Trust me.

Not all guys are bad and actually most are pretty decent. You will find a man that respects you as long as you respect yourself. Hang in there.

You may need counseling to get past this hurdle. I can understand why you would be afraid. "Once bitten, twice shy" they say. Maybe you're not ready yet.