can you be friends?

My husband and i have been married for 5 years and have three children...He has been unfaithful for almost our whole marriage...He told me this 9 months ago and we went to counseling. It didn't work. We will be filing for divorce at the beginning of the year.. My question is, can we still be close friends? What are the boundaries we should stick to when children are involved? I dont want to confuse them

by nik 1 Post
Posted on 12/18/2007 3:56 PM

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Answers for "can you be friends?" (5) (You must be logged in to answer)

I meant 5 years. whoops.

by MJ-Acharya 96 Posts
Posted on 12/21/2007 8:54 PM

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This man lied to you for 9 years! To quote bea4, are you sure that you want to be his friend? How about an acquaintance instead? It's fine to be civil for the children's sake...even eat dinner together every now and again...but trust is a factor in any friendship. He lied to you and cheated on you and I think, if anything, you should be at least a little bit angry? You don't sound angry at all in your post.

by MJ-Acharya 96 Posts
Posted on 12/20/2007 3:52 PM

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It is very respectful that you want to be "close" friends with him. I am not sure "close" is the word I would choose. You can still be friendly towards one another since there are kids involved. But remember he has been unfaithful to you on more than one occassion. Do you want to remain close with this man.

by Bea4 406 Posts
Posted on 12/18/2007 8:55 PM

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Being friends takes a lot of work. I think it can be done, but I've failed to pull that off in my own relationship. As far as the kids are concerned I think it's best that you both sit down and explain what's happening in terms they can understand. Answer questions as honestly as possible. They'll know, kids are smarter than we give them credit for.

by Robert-Boyd 3885 Posts
Posted on 12/18/2007 5:25 PM

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In an ideal world, to me at least, the parents remain friends. But that doesn't always happen. If you both agree that friendship will be best for the kids, then you have a great shot at making that happen. Did you talk to him about this? What did he say?

by Mary 179 Posts
Posted on 12/18/2007 3:59 PM

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