anger and envy

In my opinion, yes and yes.

I did not want to belong to someone. But a priest said: the blood sacrifice of innocence from the Caucasian virgin, when she is pierced by her bridegroom, is the temporal reflection, of which The Blood Sacrifice of Innocence From The Heart of Jesus, when He was pierced by the Roman Soldier's spear, is The Eternal Reality.

Blood and water from the virgin, proves she belongs to her bridegroom. Blood and Water From Jesus, proves He Belongs to Rome. I understand belonging to my husband does not mean he owns me. It means I belong to him like I belong to my family of origin.   They do not own me.  My husband, even after a civil divorce,  can prevent me from having another man.  

He did this, and I had to come back, or face life as a dirt poor bitter feminist divorcee. He prayed to God, that if I denied him access to my body, for his pleasure, and to reproduce his image, that no man have me; until I subject myself to him, becoming obedient, confessing my sins, with contrition and repentance, of rebellion, and using birth control. 

Our daughter got really sick. My ex said he would heal her. I didn't want to fell gratitude toward him. But my daughter.  I told him to come over, and he healed her.  But if I remained in a state of rebellion against him, therefore disobeying God, refusing him access to my body, my daughter would get sick again.

That's what my husband said, anyway. I could not help but love him again, seeing my little one spry and chipper. 

While I was away from him, a demon loved me. It would drive away any man who showed interest in me. When I said I was divorced, with kids, every guy would suddenly remember something he had to do, or say, “nice meeting you”, and leave me standing there alone again.

I had to come back to him.

Yes it may hurt but it will get easier...as blue said, focus on you and your son..take care of that and try to not focus on her.
Kudos to you for taking care of him!

thanks I appreciate the concern. I love my son and I would never treat him like that. we are both good parents I think actually. however us together is not gonna work.

gotcha - just checking.... =)

well I have been the stay at home dad. We decided that it would be best for me to have the child as long as I had a roof over my head and it was a decent place. Im at my dads house and its a good place. She felt that she could not handle him on her own and it would be best for me to take him.

rei - I have an important question here....

you are pretty focused on what she is doing, or might be doing in her future when it comes to someone new - in your profile you said you left and took your son with you...

did you take your son because you are truly ready to be a full time single parent and she is not fit to parent - or did you take your son because you knew it would hurt her and she might take you back to be able to be with her son?

Aside from the arguing that most couples end up doing at the breakdown of the marriage - what else was your motivating factor to taking the child?

You talk about your immaturity and lack of focus and how she had to put up with it - I have to wonder how, if that is the case, you can handle being a single parent....it's a hell of a lot harder.

I've read your profile, and if you had these issues to begin with, then I would have to say that you will be dealing with those for a long time.  My hope is that with therapy, you will be able to help control your demons here.  The first thing you have to realize is that you have chosen to go the divorce route, which means the painful process of splitting up.  It's not just like a breakup of boyfriend/girlfriend...it's a soul rending experience.  Yes, it's going to hurt and hurt lots and probably for a long time.

Second, you need to try and look at this as she is no longer "yours."  Really, she never was to begin with.  She is not a piece of property, she is a human being with free will.  She has a right to happiness, and if you truly love her, you will want her to be happy, whether it's with you or with someone else.  If you can change your mindset on this, letting her go will be easier...the suspicion and jealousy will be lessened.  That said, though, it doesn't mean that you can't feel a sense of loss and sadness on your part.  So, yes, it will hurt to see her with someone else because it used to be a role that you used to fill in her life and no longer do.

The best thing you can do is try and concentrate on you and try to decide best how you can move on with your own life.  If you spend all your time dwelling on her and her life, you will miss out on your own adventures.  Talk to your therapist about this and work with them to see what and how to work through these feelings you have.  I wish you luck in all this.