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  Posted to group - Difficult Ex's    <<Previous    Next>>

don't know what to do

so i decided. instead of actually waiting on her to file for the divorce, i think it would be best for me to get it over with. this is causing me too much pain and my heart can no longer take it. i miss my daughter, i just want to see her again. since christmas is coming up, and i was going to have some time off from work, i figured then would be a great time to take a drive up to north carolina and see my little girl finally after almost 9 months. when i passed this by my ex, she said she'll have to see what she's doing then. but she doesn't think its a good idea. the holidays are to spend with family and she's spending it with her new family now. so there you have it. i can't even see my daughter on her second christmas. whatever attempt i make to see her, something seems to coincidentally come up my ex says that now's not a good time. even though she lives with her new boyfriend(which i know isn't too fond of me, while the feelings mutual), can she actually keep me from seeing my daughter? what do i do about this?

by TJ1   10 Posts 
Posted on 10/17/2008 1:57 PM
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Answers for "don't know what to do"  (3) (You must be logged in to answer)




Yes..don't wait on this one. She has to let you see her!
by mtnvly   2541 Posts
Posted on 10/17/2008 3:51 PM
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    • Please get all of this taken care of so you can start spending time your daughter. It is important for her well being she knows you are and want to be in her life. Spaz knows the legal side and has a big heart taking time out to help us. 
  • My daughter’s father abandoned her at the age of three and it has damaged her self esteem, etc. I couldn't force him to see her and left the door open throughout her growing years. She is now in her 20s and it still hurts her. 

    • Please take care of all the legal aspects and emotional bonding with you and your daughter and legally find a way to deal with your ex. Do this before you decide to get into a relationship and eventually get married some day.

    These things were not taken care of before my marriage to my stbx. His ex and children created a lot of heartache for our marriage. He followed through with the legal end while we were together because the ex kept his kids away from him due to our marriage. This is 1 of the major reasons of our demise. He didn't want hassle or problems all the years of their divorce and basically kept taking care of household needs, etc for the ex & kids. Holidays were spent together, etc. When he decided to move on with his life and fall in love with me (it could have been anyone) - the ex & kids reacted with death threats, etc. Over the past few years this has caused irreparable damage to our marriage and we are now divorcing. Counseling was much needed but not adhered to. Good luck and go for it. You have rights too.  

by lgoodgal   872 Posts
Posted on 10/17/2008 2:43 PM
0





no she can't - as long as you file for the divorce and a temp custody/visitation agreement - she has to let her see you...otherwise she is in contempt of court.

I'm surprised it took you 9 months to get to this point - 20/20 hindsight you should have filed the minute she left to make sure she had to keep your daughter close to you and that you would see her often...now you are going to be stuck with long distance visitation but you have to file NOW, before she claims you have been out of the child's life for so long that you need supervised "reunification" visitation.
by spaznskitz   4796 Posts
Posted on 10/17/2008 2:12 PM
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