Separation and I don't know if I should stay or Go

Hi Everyone,Just want to say hello, I have been married for three years and right now my wife and I are separated. The separation is a decision that we both decided on but I think that the straw that broke the camel's back was when I went outside of my marriage recently. Here is the story a couple of months ago I found out that my wife had went outside the marriage two years ago. Throughout the marriage I was young dumb and I was just controlling. I understand that she went outside the marriage for an emotional need that she was not getting at home but I just did not understand why two years wait. I know that I have not been the best husband but I felt that I at least should have known early.  I was devastated because we had went to counseling about a month ago before she told me and she never admitted it to me. I was in a stage where I chose to speak with a person who did not know me and I felt comfortable and I made a stupid mistake. I disrespected myself and my wife and our marriage.I should have spoken to a professional about what I felt and just vented to someone else. I am at the point of whether I should continue to stay married, I love my wife but I feel that we need to seek professional help in order to make this work. I want to be happy and I know that she does but I think that we just need to talk our problem out with someone. She is the love of my life and I pray that through this separation we will learn to forgive and just commit to making this work. Does separation work toward reconciling or will it draw us farther apart?  If anyone has any advice please fill free to comment.