am I am becoming the abuser?

Spaznskitz and  My  other  Buddies  Let  first say Thank you ,  For letting  me Know I am not turning  into him  ( MY BIGGEST FEAR)
 Second  I  moved backed in kinda , Not all my  things  just giving it  a trial run, For I found myself needing his  help.  I  was  placed on a  no drive  restriction   for awhile  . What ever  is wrong  with  me is getting worse . I am  scheduled  for an EEG  Thursday and  to see the nuro;surgeon rite after  (hoping to get the results  the  same  day)  they want to rule out seizures, I seam  to have  these  few  second  black outs , Falling  asleep  driving, standing ,  in the middle of conversations,  My  hormone level is very low,  my weight  has  risen  out of no where  , I lose my train  of thought  very easy, Since I have no one els to count On here  I had no choice but to turn to him  for  when I asked   some of  my family to come help they all turned me  down. I had no choice but to turn to him for help.

Birdy, I'm in complete agreement with Spaz and mb2 on this...you need to find a way to get out of this caustic relationship.  You have hit your breaking point with his mental abuse and you're starting to fight back...that was your subconscious talking...you've probably been wanting to hit him for a very long time and you finally got pushed too far with it.  You need to be very careful here.  There's two things that could happen...you likely don't have the physical strength to knock him out or really  hurt him...just piss him off.  Do not take lightly his threat to kill you...he means it.  This is an escalation of epic proportions, and he now has, in his mind, the green light to start abusing you physically because "you started it."

Second, though I highly doubt he'll go to the police about being punched by you, you need to be careful about initiating a physical confrontation...if you do, and he starts in on you, not only will you likely go to the hospital, you may find yourself in jail too...insult to injury.  If witnesses say you hit him first, he can claim self defense...and he'll get away with it.  DON'T GIVE HIM THAT POWER!!!

If I were you, I'd be looking to get out of that situation ASAP.  I would not put myself in a position to be stuck in a situation, alone with him, where he can maximize his power over you and verbally abuse you with no end...make sure wherever you're at with him, you have an escape plan plotted and ready to go.  If he starts in on you, you walk away.  Do not engage him.  Walk away.  Leave.  Nothing says you have to sit there and take it.

I wish you luck, Birdy.  Try your hardest to extract yourself from this situation as best and as fast as you can.  It's not healthy for you, emotionally or physically.  Keep us posted.

He deserved it, buuut...probably not the wisest way to handle the situation. You put yourself in danger, and that was a mighty brave move. Kudos to you for standing up for yourself, but next time he abuses you, try to stand up for yourself by leaving the guy; that'll really show him you're not going to take his sh*t anymore!!

Ive been ou tof the loop here - so forgive me - I though you moved out...what are you doing in a car going anywhere with him?

 

Do not put yourself in a situation where you are alone with him ever again...you are too volitle for that.

 

There is only so much anyone can take before they lash out - in a way you are letting him know you won't put up with him anymore, but that is NOT the way to go about it.