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ok. i asked this before. I seperated from my wife of 10 years about 6 months ago. I live in VA. We have to wait a year before legal divorce since we have 2 great boys. I have supported them during this time which the past 5 years it has been rough since I started a small business.
So we are seperated and unlikely to get back together. Since this time I have paid for EVERYTHING. rent, utilities, food, schooling, everything. and actually none of my own. Fortunately, my current roommate has been more than kind and understanding about my situation, but I haven't paid him for rent for 4 months because i give everything to her and for my kids.
I told her that she has to go get a job. at first she refused. saying this is my fault and so this is what i have to deal with. But then she got a job but only 3 hours a day @ $8/hr. She also has a small small business with her friend. So she thinks she has done her part. But she is still demanding that I pay for everything. her full rent and utilities and everything else. and right now i do it because i am a nice guy. I never cheated or abused her. i just disconnected with her.
I can't go on paying for all of her stuff and me. I am living in an apt with a medical resident and no furniture or anything. she has it all. also we don't have a house, they rent. but she kept all the stuff.
what can i do to get her to fully understand that I am not 100% responsible for all of her bills and that she has to contribute. Would that be a legal seperation?
thanks feel free to ask me any question to help answer...
Virginia doesn't recognize legal separation - but if she leaves the state while you are still married with no intention of returning you can immeidately file for divorce based on abandonment and demand temp custody of the children during the divorce and their return to the home state. So although she could move, you have legal recourse to force her and the kids back provided you file in a timely manner.
oko - you are in for a fight no matter what...she is bullying you and thinks she has family court on her side....she is misinformed...don't fall for her tactics.
oko - stop paying. seriously - just stop - you are not legally required to pay anything for her right now and she needs one hell of a reality check. Go and google "child support calculator - your state" and calculate what child support would be if it was ordered for you -and pay that only from here on out.
there is nice - but then there is stupid. Nice is paying for your share of what the boys need - stupid is taking it up the ass to try to keep the peace.
You are establishing a status quo you don't want to walk into court with.
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