Not in love

My wife pretty much told me the same thing. My wife has been treating me poorly for quite awhile, maybe so has his. I have been loving and faithful going on 14 yrs. I'm not perfect, but she and the children are loved and well taken care of. She tells me that she is just not as affectionate as me. And I don't mean just sex. How many threats of leaving him has she made, how cold has she been to him? How much rejection should he take? He, like me did't want this, it was forced on him by his wife. Now she complains that he found someone that is nice to him, what too soon? She started the fire, now she complains of being burned. Seems like B.S. to me. I've turn down many a lovely lady many times. Like him, due to circumstances and events I was totally against, I will have to open myself up to other women. It's not a gentleman that waits till she finds someone else first, then thinks of himself. Maybe he found find out that there are women out there that treat him a whole lot better than she did. She made the rules now she must live with them or fight to get him back. But she better makes sure of what it is that she does want first, because that is what started this mess to begin with.

Are you wanting to get back with him now that you have found out about the other woman? This is just a "fling thing". And you never know, maybe this is gods way of telling you that you need to get out and stay out of this relationship, because if he really loved you, he wouldnt have jumped into another womans arms, he is playing you , even though it hurts, dont let him know that it bothers you. stay strong.

Why does it matter. You started the ball rolling with telling him you did not know if you love him or not. So what do you do, look in the mirror and realize YOU created this problem, then move on.

I'm ok with the 'Men are pigs" statement. Sometimes we are. All of us. And I know plenty of women guilty of worse, on the adultery line. But don't worry about hurting my man-feelings, I'm a swine with a thick skin who's seen the evil in both sexes.. ;) bash away.

I'm sorry but sometimes it just seems like all men are pigs to some extent. I'm not on this site to commit maile-bashing. I love men, but that just seems like what a man would do to either get back at his wife who has left or it sounds like the first chance there's a window of opportunity to sleep or see another woman that a man would jump at the chance. I know that woment are probably guilty of this too. Maybe I just feel this way because my ex was having an affair behind my back. I'm so sorry that you are going through this situation.

I agree with Nichola. I would do some soulsearching. If maybe you do still love him, but don't love where your marriage is at. In his defense, I can believe that he still loves you. It's possible (I don't know his situation so I'm only giving him the benefit of a doubt) that you leaving took away his feeling of worth. Maybe he found a substitute for that. She's not real, just a way to numb the feeling of loss. It doesn't make what he did right, but if you really don't love him, you shouldn't care. Once again, I agree with Nichola. At very least, you might consider a counselor for yourself, to help you sort through your own feelings. Make sure what you want before you proceed.

He was SO hurt that he went to another woman?? That is B.S. How long have you been married? Any kids? How long have you been gone now? If he loved you SO much, he would have sat at home waiting for your call. You told him you needed a break-not that you were leaving forever. BTW - It is NOT your fault. Don't let him pull that guilt trip on you. Did he know this woman from before? Is he still seeing her? Did he sleep with her? I agree with Nicola. Figure out what you really want. DO you still love him? Is your life better with or without him?