i cant deal with him

I'm with you.....We live in the same house and it's horrible!!  I filed in June and we're not even close to settling this horror!  It's constant put downs and threats...torture!! 

I spend time away from him as often as i can.  when he comes home fromwork, i go on the computer, or read the paper.  i go to bed early..etc.

hang in there!!  I keep reminding myself that I'm closer to getting there!!  Life without him!  We will get along so much better when we live apart!!

That unbearable "what's next" feeling...it's a beast.  It's not natural for the body to feel pain, emotional or physical.  Have you lost a lot of weight?  I think, given your situation, you should definately see a doctor and find something to calm your nerves, but that isn't going to fix anything you are going through, unfortunately, that takes time.  Do you have anyone or anywhere you can go?  Does he?  If you left with the kids, what would he do?  Where is your family, if not close by, and, if given the option, would you be with them?

I hitched a u-haul box to my buick and drove 800 miles with absolutely nothing but my daughter and her stuff, within 3 days of him leaving on a business trip after telling me he wanted a divorce.  Had I stayed, I would have gone completely mad with "greif" over the "death" of my marriage, but I left and have never looked back.  He didn't even realize until a month and a half later that it was really truly over, and no, I wasn't going back.

I am not telling you to "suck it up", not a bit, because I know your pain all too well, but I think the subject of your blog says it best...I can't deal with him.  If you can't, if you absolutely can't, then you should not have to.  Take a good look at your options, and communicate with your family, or, if you can, his.

And never ever apologize for anything you put on here, we all have the same battle wounds, to some degree, as you.  No one on here has judged, that I can see, and it is a great place to come for validation of your feelings.

You are not crazy.  There is nothing wrong with you but a broken heart.  We all went through the same motions you are going through, and some of us still are.  Stay strong, and try not to be afraid.  It will be ok, one way or another.  Keep us posted.

He's wrong...looks like you have lots of friends here....

Rant and rave all you want.( Although I didn't see it as ranting) That is what we are here for. Have you filed for separation?
He wants to hurt you...that is what is happening. Make sure you are documenting all of his stupidity!
Let us know how its going!

Your are not ranting.  Let it all out that is what we are here for!!! : )  Be strong, stand up to him.  He abuses your good heart.  Show him he can not do this to you any more!!!  Give him a little bit of his own medicine.  Not in front of the children!!!  You know better then he does.  Gain the control and never let his words hurt you.  You know who you are.  They are just words.  You can do it!!!  Remember we are here for you any time!!! : )

It's okay to rant on here. Just let it all out and maybe it will make you feel better. If you're that ill you need to go to the doctor and see if it's stress. A good therapist would help too. They can help you deal with the stress. If you need to go on meds. for a short time that is okay. I know it's hard but try to ignore him and don't respond to his taunting. I'm assuming you can't afford to move for now and the two of you are still trying to live in the same house. That's not good for you if that is the case. Just right here and rant whenever you feel the need. Someone will hear and answer.
Take care