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Help Please!! :-))

I really need some advice to anyone that is reading this....
I have been separated from husband for 15 months now.  He has only seen my little boy (he is 16 months) once in the past five months.  And before that only once in a five month period.  I am still obligated to tell him about every little medical issue?  He is having some dental work done tomorrow and will require general anesthesia.  He also lives out of the area (about 800 miles away)
We are still legally married and I haven't filed yet.  I have never received support from him and he has been unemployed for over a year (don't know if that info is relevant).   I don't want to do anything to mess up my future case in court.  

Any and all insights will be soooo appreciated.  Thanks!!!

by MamaMia   3 Posts 
Posted on 10/9/2008 7:44 PM
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Answers for "Help Please!! :-))"  (9) (You must be logged in to answer)




Hello Mama..

here is where you are legally - without filing for divorce/custody - that gives him the right one day to show up, take your son and the police will not be able to do a thing about it...as he is legally the child's father and you are husband and wife. You will then have to file for an emergency hearing, if you can get one, for divorce, return of the child & custody.

You are also setting it up to where he can cry parental alienation and gain sympathy with the court if he retains a slick enough attorney.

 

Don't be so sure that unemployed doesn't mean "working under the table". He could be squirrling away money you don't know about.

 

People think that avoiding divorce is the best way to protect themselves and their kids, but actually, it is the worst thing you can do.


How he treated you has little to no bearing on custody. Right now, since it has been so long, if you file for divorce you will be able to also request supervised visitation and control access that way based on the need for them to "get to know each other" but the longer you wait to take action on divorce and custody, the worse it could end up for you and your ultimate goal.

by spaznskitz   3921 Posts
Posted on 10/11/2008 12:41 AM
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Thank you so much for everyone's response.  It made me feel a lot better about today.  He was such a trooper today with the procedure.  I'm so glad that I found this sight and that everyone was kind enough to comment. 

In the end I didn't tell him....  I think I'm finally waking up from my many years with him.   Everything was about him and how he was feeling, what he was doing all the time.  Now its my son's turn and mine finally.  We're the most important thing right now and that feels good.  We're in a good place now.  Thanks everyone!  Hugs :-)
by MamaMia   3 Posts
Posted on 10/10/2008 11:25 PM
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You really need to file to get something settled about visits etc. At this time I would tell him about anything he wants to know. I would ask him ? Do you want to know every detail or just the major ones. Cooperate....be nice...but get an agreement filed. Keep him informed...even if he takes a crappy job he is reponsible for taking care of the his kids/kid!
I know many say DON"T but I say Do...be nice but be smart too!  
I would not allow him overnights etc until an agreement is signed. But find out what he wants to know . He may say nothing...and you need to document EVERYTHING>>>even his reply . You will not remember dates later.

by mtnvly   2307 Posts
Posted on 10/10/2008 7:16 PM
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i dont think anything you do will hurt you in court are you sure hes not getting any income the child has to be taken care of by both parents and apparently hes the one not holding up to his responsibilities if anything he will end up hurting himself in court be strong it will turn out in your favor
by NOODLES   9 Posts
Posted on 10/10/2008 12:03 AM
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If you really think he needs to know just send a text message.  Stay strong!
by 123   413 Posts
Posted on 10/9/2008 10:53 PM
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Why are you obligated to tell him anything? Has a court told you that you must tell him? He is not paying support and is not seeing the child.
by Cheydara   258 Posts
Posted on 10/9/2008 10:34 PM
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