Father Rights Before Divorce Proceedings

Right now I am in the beginning stages of a divorce. I haven't filed, however my wife said she wants a divorce after being unhappy for the last 2 years. It all came to a head when I found out she was secretly having conversations with another guy. You can read my story in my profile. She immediately wanted a divorce when I confronted her about the guy. I told her parents that we are getting a divorce and told them why. Now my wife is mad because everybody including her family know her business. She told me not to contact her anymore because her attorney will do the talking. We have a 2 year old together. I want to stay in contact with him so he will still know who daddy is. However my wife is stopping me from doing that. She said visitation will be set by the court. Can she stop me from contacting my son even though there is no legal documentation started yet for the divorce? What will I have to do so I can still contact my son even though my wife is keeping me from contacting or seeing him? We live in two different states (California and Texas) because she decided to take a job in Houston. I am active duty military. How would child custody work? I want full custody or I want to always have access to seeing him without any problems.

by CeeLo 4 Posts
Posted on 10/9/2008 10:05 AM

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Tags: custody , daddy , divorce
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Answers for "Father Rights Before Divorce Proceedings" (5) (You must be logged in to answer)

forgot to add - your stbx is correct, she has the right to deny you visitation until a court tells her she has to. She knows that if she lets you see him you could easily do the same thing, take him and not let her see him. It's positioning to be able to keep custody.

so you need to make sure you file asap to get him back in the state at the very least.

by spaznskitz 7745 Posts
Posted on 10/11/2008 2:32 PM

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first of nonymous is incorrect - you do not contact the police, in that you are married, and there is no divorce filed, it is not kidnapping.

However, you need to file immediately and demand the child be returned to your home state (CA) before she has lived in TX long enough to be considered a resident. If you don't do this - she will be able to keep the child in TX and your visitation will be limited.

Highly doubtful you will get full custody, esp being active military - you can however request upon her return to CA 50/50 joint legal and physical custody.

by spaznskitz 7745 Posts
Posted on 10/11/2008 2:29 PM

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And do yourself a favor...CALL THE POLICE! Get this on record. She can not prevent you from seeing your child...that's called kidnapping.

by Nonymous 9 Posts
Posted on 10/9/2008 11:36 AM

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She is angry..and trying to hurt you.
Do as paula said and document everything...file for temporary visits...if you stop trying to make contact with him she may say that you aren't and use it against you. Keep phone records to prove how much you have tried to call etc. Here is a link that spaznskitz gave me a long time ago for a website that may help. She is a family law attorney and also a fathers rights advocate who is a huge help.
http://www.deltabravo.net/
This is a link for a parenting plan that you may want to read and take to your attorney. Hopefully she won't be as bad as others exes that some of us know but it will cover areas that may be a problem.
Keep us posted!
http://docs.google.com/View?docid=dc876ktm_9d4mq6f2s

by mtnvly 3539 Posts
Posted on 10/9/2008 11:30 AM

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i think i answered you on your other post. but basically no, she can't stop you from seeing your son. you do need to get some temporary orders as quickly as possible to set the visitation guidelines while you proceed with the divorce.

right now she is angry, hopefully she will wise up and realize your son needs his dad in his life and will work with you on visitation going forward.

but without that temp orders, you two can both do whatever you want...even though she shouldn't. it won't look good for in her court if she refuses you vistation, but frankly, that won't change much in the end. so you may as well get the paperwork started.

detail/document every attempt you made and make to see your son or talk to him on the phone. there is a private incident report on this site. go to your MYSTUFF page and scroll down to see it. only you can see what you write in there. it is a good tool to keep info like this. it's time/date stamped and you can write in every attempt you make to see your son and her responses. you can use that in court.

by paula1 12664 Posts
Posted on 10/9/2008 10:08 AM

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