HOW DO I KNOW IF THERE WERE FEELINGS INVOLVED

Something was lacking, and he went to her to get it...I guess, for me, the question is what was lacking (it could be one or more of many things). I don't know, I don't think it's so cut and dried, if he were to be serious about addressing the 'why he cheated' part, then it seems to be that there is still hope.

I came to the conclusion that, in my case, I would have great difficulty trusting like I did before, and that seemed to necessitate separation. No matter how much I didn't want it.

Make it another with striker My feeling to the tee.

Have you ask him the same question.

I would say there was some sort of feelings , even if it was just lust...
It is now your choice on what to do. You can try to forgive, some can , some can't. That is something only you can decide.
Or you can file for separation. What ever you decide..we are here for you!

Have you ever cheated?  I gather from your post that you haven't.

If you haven't, it's likely because you wouldn't, or you know how much it would hurt the one you love.  Initially, when you find out about the affair, you only want the relationship you believe you had.

Then, depending on circumstances, you begin to see things as they actually are.  If your husband is truly sorry he will show it and make real efforts to earn your forgiveness.  If he doesn't, you will probably have a tough time.

Good luck to you.   When you truly love someone and they cheat on you, it is devastating.  You can make it through.  Hold your head up, it wasn't you who did the harm.

It's hard to say.  There could be many factors in why he decided to be unfaithful.  I read your other post, and it could be that he was just angry with you and went to this woman with a "reputation" because he wanted to get even and she was convenient.  It could be that the affair was opportunistic...he was at a bar, she was there, she flirted and lended a sympathetic ear, and it went from there.  Only he knows for sure what happened, so you need to ask him that question...for you or anyone else on this site, it's just going to be speculation.

Knowing why he did it will be crucial in determining if your marriage can be salvaged or not.  I respectfully disagree with Striker's assessment with once a cheater, always a cheater...it depends greatly on the motivation in the first place as to whether or not they will cheat again.  If this is a case of revenge cheating...getting back at you for kicking him out over the finances, then unless you two can find a better way to work out your differences, it will likely happen again.  Anytime you do something that ticks him off, he'll be off sleeping with the next available female, just to piss you off in return.

If it was a situational thing, then I think it's possible that if you can work through your marital problems together and solve those, a second chance would be in order.  A lot depends on the situation, though.  And yes, you will have trust issues for the rest of your marriage, if you decide to work it out.  You won't trust him like you did before...he's destroyed that now, but it can be rebuilt to a point, but it will not be as it was before.  You have to decide if you can a) forgive him for the affair and b) willing to work at the marriage to rebuild the trust that you've lost.  Only you can answer that question and only you can determine if your marriage is worth saving.

Good luck, I wish you the best in whatever you decide.

I'm with striker on this one.  An affair for three weeks is someone making a decision over and over to cheat.