Healthy amount of "ME" time in marriage?

You all are AMAZING...starting with response #1, thank u so much for insight and another respective opinion on what "me time" really is. Response #2 He's absolutely insecure and jealous, no he thinks nights out with other male or female friends for that matter are a "waste of time, and asking for trouble." Thanks for your tender words of insight, and yes, only so much one can and will take!!   Response#3, wow wow WOW, his trust issues, you're right are just that...HIS. I absolutely 100% trust my husband.  I tell him that I could only have said "I DO" if I truly meant it, with TRUST coming second to LOVE.  I definitely had some epiphany on the entire issue and felt there was no need to continue to settle for things that shouldn't have ever been an issue to begin with.  So changing what we're both so used to has caused for some stressful times.  Like I told stbx, I either go with the flow or be true to myself.  Breaking old habits that I allowed is definitely partly my fault for being an "enabler" but now that I am trying to find a clearer and peaceful SELF, some things you just can't change, and that's what this saga has taught me.  I appreciate you all...please keep your thoughts coming! Talk soon everyone.

I don't know how much is reasonable.  You need time to yourself.  You need time with your hobbies and your friends.  I'm a stay at home mom of 2 kids and a student.  I'm exhausted and never made time for myself.  I was never allowed to have friends until I just made it okay.  I have a girls night once a week.  I play volleyball once a week also.  Its the only real chance to get away to relax and then when I am home I'm more able to give more focus to my kids and school work.

It sounds like he's extremely insecure, possibly jealous.  Does he have his own friends and his own night out? 

You might want to look into couples therapy.  If it's already at the boiling point, as you said, then you may not be able to get through to him without the situation exploding into something unmanageable. 

If he won't go to counseling or talk about it with you (calmly), then it's probably time to review your options.  Someone who won't work out a problem probably isn't willing to continue working on the marriage, so you'll likely just end up miserable and angry.  No one can sustain a marriage like that for very long. :(

As a life and success coach, let me say 3 things:

1) His trust issue is his and his alone.  Don't take on what you can't fix; his desire to feel safe resides within.  If he doesn't trust you, he's got to find out why and make a change within himself.

2) You have every right to "ME" time; trust me, he gets time for himself.  Do you trust him?

3) Sacred relationships are about declaring each other's innocence and not our guilt.  You never fix a problem by condemning it.  We love the things we love for what they are.  We also teach people how to treat us.  When you don't go out because of his "trust" issues, you teach him that his opinion of you is more important than your opinion of yourself.  There's balance to everything.  Bottom line: you need you time.

Kassandra Vaughn, the ROI Coach
http://chooseyounow.blogspot.com