Any advice for a divorce about to get nasty?

My wife wanted a Collaborative Divorce, I found out about 10 days ago and was against it until she had me removed from our house the following Thursday (last Thursday). Until she had me removed by lying to the police, I was begging her to go in for counseling. I've been a faithful husband, involved with the children (we have 2, 10 and 12), I coach their sports, go on field trips, help with homework and come home EVERY night for them. She has a job that keeps her away from home 6-10 days a month (2-3 days at a time). When I get home, the kids and I do whatever (play a game, watch TV, ride bikes in the summer), my wife sits on the couch and calls friends all evening. I don't drink, don't smoke or do drugs, am not violent, and haven't even been arrested for speeding in my life.

As I said, originally I was against divorce because I knew keeping the family together was best for the kids. We'd been to a marriage counselor for about 8 months until he refused to see us again...we found out WHY we are they way we are, but not how to stop our fighting...which is usually centered around the children. She came from an EXTREMELY strict family, where EVERYTHING was controlled from food to clothing. My family was laid back and believed that trust amongst each other was best. When I asked "Why?", I was given a reason. When she asked "Why?" she was punished for not obeying.

Anyway...we often clashed on conflict with the children and I would step in to clam the situation down with humor and rephrasing what was expected to be done, often supporting her, but not always (as some requests were downright weird - i.e. calling someone "grandma" that wasn't or sudden snaps from our "normal " routine for no explained reason or things like taking all the toys out of our children's room without explaining why).

Her rage with me has grown AFTER our counseling when I was told to "speak up" and express my feelings, something I always hid for the peace it gave. As I began speaking up, it was considered "negative" or "controlling" or simply being a dick...which I'm NOT!

Well, I retained an attorney yesterday, but she's lying to her attorney about my willingness to cooperate. My current attorney has made it clear she will NOT deal with litigation, as it ruins a family.

I've been threatened with restraining orders and injunctions by my wife...she plays the system very well once she knows what she can get away with (as exhibited by years of cheating her employer...within the rules)...we had discussed "nesting" so the kids didn't have to leave their home prior to her filling for divorce, but now I fear she's going to back out on that and try to get me removed. I couldn't care less about the house or vehicles or 401k's...my life is my children and she knows it. I've spent EVERY night but maybe 3 a year with them since they've been born. She knows that if she wants to hurt me (for whatever she thinks I did to her), all she needs to do is remove the children a bit from my life...and I know that's what she'll probably try.

I'm not evil, I don't think of ways to hurt people...but I can't help but wonder if the whole "collaborative" divorce wasn't a test? Now that I've agreed to it, she's even more enraged...and I fear she'll try to hurt me another way.

Last night I told her I was in NO hurry to split time with the children and would not seek to split time until it was necessary...she got a sick look on her face and told me I wouldn't be happy today (when I'm should receive my papers from her lawyer).

Any ideas what she has planned? I haven't slept in days. She claims it's "temporary" and it isn't an injunction or a restraining order...what else could it be? How do you deal with someone who is always changing the rules? Do I skip the collaborative divorce and seek a lawyer who will fight? What can I do to ensure I stay at home with our children? They're scared. I'm scared. She's a fine mother at times, even GREAT usually...but she's not right right now and I'm afraid her hate for me is greater than her love of our children.