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When to date?

I'm divorced after an 8 year marriage with 2 children. I have a friend whom i've known for about 6 years. He is the nicest guy in the world. He's never been married and doesn't have any kids. He's the complete opposite of my ex. He is very interested in me. We've went to some social gatherings together. We get along great. He knows what i've been through. He says he's willing to take it really slow and I'm worth waiting for. But I know that won't last forever. I'm so scared because I think my emotions are so messed up right now I don't know what my true feelings are. If I say back off I could be losing the best thing that could ever happen to me. If I don't I could end up breaking his heart. My ex was my one and only love. So, I don't even really know what dating is or the expectations. All of my friends think he's the greastest in the world. Please help!
by devasted   4 Posts 
Posted on 10/6/2008 2:46 PM
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Answers for "When to date?"  (14) (You must be logged in to answer)
Sweetie I dont think your ready and your headed for another disaster.  Everything that glitters aint gold.  If you still love your ex then reconcile or be by yourself.  There is no way you should involve yourself with someone else if you still have feelings for someone else.  Thats not fair to the new guy.
by pnus   12 Posts
Posted on 10/15/2008 5:03 PM
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I know I jumped into another relationship right away after we separated because I was so needy and it was like going through a divorce while going through a divorce.  It was very painful. So, it is good that you realize you aren't ready and just be honest with this guy.  It sounds like he understands and really values you which is what you need most from him. I guess I can just say from experience that keeping things on a nonsexual level is the best thing to do for as long as you can because it will change everything once you do and then you might feel like you are in over your head.  Getting out of that is what is so painful. I haven't been with anyone else since then (almost 2 years) because I just don't want to get into that situation again.  It is such an adjustment and I also spent half a lifetime with just one person.  You are so lucky to have a friend like that and I hope he turns out to be someone who makes this transition in your life a much better time than if you were going through it by yourself.  Keep us posted.
by baal   88 Posts
Posted on 10/10/2008 2:46 AM
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I was just thinking about this subject on my way to work. I've been alone for most of the 15 years I've been married. Literally, I was ditched during our last vacation with no explanation.

 

So, even though I just retained a lawyer and my husband is still living with me, I feel single. I have a lot of love to give and would make a great wife. (no kids)

 

I feel for you. It took me 15 years to decide my one and only was worth the price I was paying. Don't punish yourself for loving your X so deeply.

by TooLaidBackinVA   9 Posts
Posted on 10/9/2008 6:55 PM
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I agree. Just have fun with it...you need to smile/laugh/enjoy life!! Do it without the pressure of dating. Just have a carefree friendship and if it turns into something more, GREAT! If he's so great as he says, he will help you rebuild those missing links that you are dealing with along the way. :)

After a divorce, we all deserve to just be happy.
by PixieDust   18 Posts
Posted on 10/9/2008 3:11 PM
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