Love the kids but..... here are some of the details

Thank you for taking the time to read my question. My wife and I have been married for 3 years, been together for 7 years. We have 3 small boys ages 1,3 and 5. I have been in jail (3 times) due to my wife calling on Domestic Violence, every time she was either pregnant in the last trimester, or after the birth of one of our boys, all cases were dismissed with prejudice against her. I never hurt or harmed her, she just went crazy. Twice she was intoxicated on wine, but the police took me away, because I am the man and she was pregnant. In 2005 we started a small seafood business, she quit her job which had great Benefits (Starbucks) I asked her not too because of the burden of health insurance on a small business, we did great to start, but she insisted on overpaying us out of the company, also she wanted to buy a house so we also purchased a home 2 months into our new business. I was trying to make her happy. Since then our relationship went downhill, this is where I started feeling hopeless with our relationship, although I went through the court system and jail, I forgave and told myself to hold the family together. In summer 2007 the money in company ran out and she told me that she wanted to separate, she took the kids and moved to her mothers home, I ended up having to file a chapter 7 personally, due to no money and Credit Card debt above 25000 dollars, I also have decided to surrender my home, because I can't make the mortgage. Currently, she is going to counseling for herself, I feel alienated because when I ask about 'us' the family and she and I, she says that she does not know. She moved out at the end of August, and she has not done anything for the sake of the family, but only for herself, I have talked to my parents about it and they want me to divorce her, they believe that sometime along the way of our lives, she decided that she just wanted a meal ticket, they want me to find someone that will work with me and love me. Another important point I want to make is that my parents invested 20K, and her grandfather invested 50k into the company, this is how she and we maintained the lifestyle that is now falling apart. In the bankruptcy I listed my parents and her grandfather for protection. Recently she told me that we need to pay her grandfather back, but no mention of paying my parents, I wrote a letter to her grandparents wanting to know what the situation was with the loan they gave my wife, but they have not answered back. My wife wants me to pay her 500 per month for the next 6 years to pay back this loan, I don't believe her, especially now without an answer to my letter sent to her grandparents. I feel that she is holding the relationship hostage to get her way. Should I move on, I am only 37, I think that she has some mental and emotional issues, that only she can work on, I also feel used, I mean she left me right when all the money ran out, and left me to fix it. I have written letters to her letting her know that I love her with no response. My friends say that she has turned into a gold digger. I need some arbitrary advice on this... AJ