Should I stay or go? I'm thinking go

Staying or going? Today I lean in the direction of going. I left my old job and started a new one, so I will no longer have to see the other guy every day. I did not want him to confuse my situation. I want to make this decision without making him part of it. I know that transferring to the new job was the right thing to do, but it is not easy. I had some supportive co-workers and that definitely helped. I cried my last day. Broke down and called C yesterday because I missed his voice. I have to learn a lot of things in the new gig and I know that once I get through the first two or three months, it will be better. Right now I feel like I am under a microscope and can't screw up. A female friend suggested that I wait a couple of months to start divorce proceedings because that will give me time to settle in at my new job. That sounds like a good idea now. Angry phone calls from my husband, bursting into tears at work...these things might happen once the ball gets rolling, so to speak. I would rather not have those things happen right now. I have enough to worry about without adding to the confusion. I called a lawyer for a consultation and of course he was out of town until Monday. I want to at least find out what I need in terms of payment and documentation to get things started. Then I can take some time to get it all together for...December, maybe? Any thoughts?

by meteor 488 Posts
Posted on 9/29/2008 12:44 AM

Get Alerts!

send to friend

Send to a friend

Should I stay or go? I'm thinking go on divorce360.com

E-mail: Separate multiple addresses with commas(,)

From (Your name) :

Your e-mail address:

0	Flag item :: Why are you flagging item: Submit \| Cancel

Tags:

Answers for "Should I stay or go? I'm thinking go" (3) (You must be logged in to answer)

Thanks, paula and jhs. I am glad you guys agree that taking some time with this is O.K. I don't like the idea of rushing things. D is not abusive, so it's not like I am in danger. We work different shifts and in another week we will have different days off. Avoiding him is pretty easy without even trying. Telling him right before Christmas seems rotten, but I guess there is no right time to do this. If I put it off until January, well his birthday is in January, and then there's Valentine's Day...You get the idea. I am not deciding any of that now. I think I will talk to the lawyer and find out what he needs from me and what he charges. I need to make these decisions when I am calmer.

by meteor 488 Posts
Posted on 9/29/2008 11:59 PM

	0	Flag item :: Why are you flagging item: Submit \| Cancel

meteor,

I'm going (finally). She kept saying she wanted to split, and I kept trying to work on it. The mantra of doing everything you can do before giving up. I finally gave up.

Not having an active involvement with someone else is probably a good thing right now. It sounds like you're still have at least one foot hanging on the other side of the fence. Not having your judgement colored by something happening "right now" helps when you need to make a clear-headed decision.

Bottom line, I'm with Paula. There's no real need to rush things if you're OK with your living situation. Go ahead and see the lawyer as a "fact finding mission" and then make your plans.

As I've said before, I'm sure we'll both be more than roomates next time.

Take care.

by jhs 555 Posts
Posted on 9/29/2008 2:35 PM

	0	Flag item :: Why are you flagging item: Submit \| Cancel

unless there is abuse, i agree with taking your time here.....you should never rush into divorce.

by paula1 12662 Posts
Posted on 9/29/2008 7:48 AM

	0	Flag item :: Why are you flagging item: Submit \| Cancel

Divorce360.com is not a substitute for advice from a lawyer, accountant, financial planner, therapist or other professional to obtain advice. Divorce360.com is not intended to, and should not, take the place of professional advice. The opinions expressed in the divorce360.com message boards are those of the author and the author alone. Divorce360.com does not endorse any specific product or service.