I need advice really bad...

Thanks for the update, healy.  It's good that you've made this decision and I think it's the right one.  I'm glad that you've found my words to be of use and value.  I do hope that you can stay friends through all of this.  It sounds like you can.  Even if you can't be friends, you definately sound like you can be friendly.  Good luck to you.  Hopefully, if things are good, perhaps you can try a collaborative divorce...though with kids involved, I'm not quite sure how feasable that is.  Check around the site to see what the divorce laws are like in your state and see if your state allows collaborative divorce.  It might be the cheaper route than each of you hiring an attorney and going at it...and more damaging to your friendship, too.

Just a update for all of you.  I am on my final day of my hospital stay and I am sitting here talking to a group of wonderful people who I trust.  I have made up my mind that I am getting a divorce and I feel fine with it.  I know that I am making the right decision for myself and my children and my husband.  I feel a great sense of calm, I know it will be hard at times but I do not feel fear at this time.  I also know that I will always stay friends with him because we have two beautiful children who still have a mother and father who love them.  I will never take their father out of their lives because I love them.  Plus he may not be a great husband for me but he is a fantastic father.  I am in a much better place then I was when I first posted here at this site.  BlueB and Venus your words to me helped in more ways then you will know so thank you for taking the time.  You are very insightful and I wish you the best in your relationships whichever way they are to go forward from this point on.  Thank you for all of the rest of your comments I will continue to come to this site for advice and support.